


ITCH...II- What Will Be

by unifairie



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Character Death, F/M, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Sexual Assault, Sexual Threats, parent /child incest (past), tags added as needed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-01-04 21:00:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 43,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12176502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unifairie/pseuds/unifairie





	1. You Make My Soul Scream

Daryl sat in a chair, a little distance from the bed, exhausted and uncomfortable, but forcing his eyes to stay open. He couldn't sleep because he was afraid he'd lose Rick if he did, not necessarily physically, though that was always a possibility, too, because the man could try suicide; but emotionally, because Daryl knew the man was ready to slip into the abyss. He knew Rick was barely hanging on to what he had left, and Daryl meant to keep him from slipping over the edge, though he wasn't sure how, yet. But, he felt his presence was the only thing that he had to offer at the moment, and offer it he would, even if he had to sew his damn eyes open to stay awake.

Hours later, he had moved from the chair, and was sitting on the floor, beside the bed, head against the matress, holding onto Rick's limp hand, whispering to him, telling him things he'd never told another single soul in his life, things he had wanted to keep buried forever, but things that might help keep Rick a member of this world, instead of a ghost that wandered in the world of the living, but survived in the nightmares of his mind. 

"...that's why I understand... I've been there, brother..." Daryl growled low, his words muffled against the bed linen. "...was just a kid...first time...but I know what it's like to have something taken from you, when you can't stop them. That's why Merle meant so much to me, ya know. He was all I had, all I could count on, even though he wasn't around enough... not to help me anyway... but he was my brother, and that was something. And, he did finally save me...we never talked about it, buried that shit pretty damn deep. Hell, he wore the scars, from the beatings, our old man gave us, same as I did. That's why he stayed away from home so much. But, that left me alone, and one day, it changed into something so vile I couldn't keep any food down for weeks afterward. I mean, what kind of man does that to his own kid...?" 

Rick's hand squeezed Daryl's slightly...then... "Tell me..." Rick whispered, voice raspy and weak... trailing off. 

Daryl jerked his head up, meeting Rick's intent gaze, the look of his old friend peeking out from behind the haziness, fighting to be there for Daryl, even as he wanted to escape this world altogether. And, Daryl knew this was the only way to save Rick, by letting Rick save him, giving the man a reason to survive, a reason to keep going. Rick always did want to be a hero, Daryl thought, and if it meant he had to strip his soul bare, and pull up memories he'd buried in the pits of his mind, memories that tore him apart, left him bleeding and raw, he'd do it, if it meant saving this man that he loved more than life itself. 

"uh...well.." It was harder to start than he'd thought, especially looking into those eyes, that could reach into his chest and rip his fucking heart out... Daryl turned away from those eyes, then pressed his face back against the bed linen, to hide. He could do this, but not looking in those beautiful cerulean eyes. "...was a kid... bout fourteen, I guess... happened to be unlucky enough to be in my room when my old man come home. He was already drunk and pissed off... didn't take much to piss him off anyway. And, he stumbled into my room. I was sitting on the bed, smoking a cigarette, out of a pack Merle stole and gave me. He went off, snatching the cigarette out of my mouth, then punching me in the face, calling me a worthless peice of shit..." 

Daryl's breath caught, his emotion at the remembering almost overwhelming him. He felt Rick squeeze his hand, and he held on, pushing past the lump in his throat. "...I tried to protect my face... so his fists were hitting me in the sides and back, and it hurt like hell, but I'd suffered it before. I guess it was frustrating him though... because he grabbed a handful of my hair and jerked me around, so he could punch me in the face again... and... I had just reached a limit, took a swing at him, clocked him in the nose. He stumbled back, and there was blood... but, then he rushed me, got his hands round my throat, choking me, had me down on the bed, on top of me, his hands locked around my throat... and I was struggling to breathe, him cursing me and telling me he was gonna kill me.... and I was sure he was, cause I was losing consciosness... But, I was vaguely aware of his hardness against my stomach. I guess he was turned on by the violence... then, I blacked out.." 

"when... I came back ...I realized my pants were down... and I'd been turned over on my stomach... pulled over to the edge of the bed... and he was forcing his...himself inside me ... I tried to scream... it hurt so bad...he slammed a fist into the back of my head...and pressed my face into the mattress, and tore me open... I managed to get my hand under my face, pushing up against the matress enough to breathe... I could hear his voice as he called me a bitch.... " 

'you like that, you little bitch. Yeah, I knew you were a goddamn whore. Take that cock, slut. Boy, you take it like a pro, you fucking bitch...' Daryl heard the words slamming into him, as hard as those fists had earlier, as his father's cock thrust into him over and over...until he gave one final hard thrust and held firm against his ass, while he emptied his seed. Finally he pulled out of him, and stumbled out of the room, mumbling about fucking whores.... and how to take care of them... 

"...then he stumbled off into the other room... fell asleep on the couch, started snoring like a fucking bear... I managed to get up and make it to the bathroom... cleaned myself up as best I could, my face and... " Daryl trailed off 

"I'm sorry, Daryl... sorry you had to go through that, didn't deserve it..." Rick gripped his hand hard, trying to give him strength, and Daryl accepted it, eager for anything Rick offered him. 

"You didn't deserve it, either..." Daryl mumbled. "He had no right to take you, no right to touch you... and he will never put his hands on you again. I will fucking kill him!" 

"You... don't understand..." Rick whispered. "I don't deserve it, none of it. I'm not worthy of you... of any of you..." 

"Dammit, Rick!" Daryl cried. "You're the one that doesn't understand. We don't deserve you... but we fucking need you... You are the reason we are here...the reason I'm here... We won't let you go, man... so, get that through that thick skull of yours. We need you... I need you..." Daryl couldn't keep his feelings to himself now. He hadn't meant to give so much of himself, but wasn't able to hide it. 

"Daryl...?" Rick's hand gripped Daryl's harder, his eyes searching the pale green of the redneck, realizing. "I... I didn't know... never thought... didn't imagine... I don't know what to say." Rick was at a loss for words. 

"Sorry, Rick, didn't mean to lay that on you, after what you been through... Maybe it's stupid to think you'd ever see me that way, but... You just need to know... I fucking love you, man... I've never even told Merle that, but... I don't know what I'd do without you... don't know... how I'd make it." 

"Thank you, Daryl... You don't know how much that means to me... Can't give you much in return, I'm afraid ... not worth much. You are such a good person... but I don't know what I have to offer. Just don't know." Rick's voice grew soft, as he finally drifted into sleep. 

Daryl felt safe enough to follow his example, knowing Rick wasn't going to disappear, now, so he let his eyes close, and finally went to sleep.  
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Negan was a lion, in a rage, roaring and smashing everything in sight, including anyone stupid enough to get near him. Several mutilated bodies laying on the floor around him could attest that fact. Simon, smartly, stayed back, out of range of the bloody Lucille, that was swinging wildly, flinging blood over the wrecked room. With Negan in this mood, he wouldn't differentiate between Simon or anyone else. Negan had managed to destroy nearly everything in the room in a matter of minutes. 

The soldiers who had come to his aid first, finding him barely conscious and badly beaten, on the floor of his room, were the first to suffer his wrath. After they'd helped him from the floor and gotten him revived, the first thing he did was grab Lucille and start beating them, until they lay unrecognizable on the floor. Negan's face had drying blood from both his mouth and nose, on it. His lips were busted open, but that didn't hinder his roaring anger any. The beginnings of a large bruise was covering one cheekbone and part of the eye. Negan didn't seem to even notice. He screamed Rick's name over and over, nearly gone mad. Simon knew he'd have to let the man completely wear himself down, before he could hope to get near him. 

It took a half hour of Negan raging, before he wore himself to exhaustion, and simply sank back to the floor, sobbing hysterically. At this point, Simon sent most of the other men out of the room, so he could try to talk to his leader. He walked over, squatting down near the broken man. 

"Negan... pull it together, man...." Simon cried. 

"What..." Negan rasped, lifting his head, confused, his voice almost gone... "Rick...Rick..." he whispered, sobbing, gasping for breath. 

"We'll find him. We'll bring him back... I swear to you. But, you have to pull it together. Sitting here on the damn floor won't get him back. Killing your men won't do it either. You'll need them to help you. We are down enough anyway, can't afford to lose more." Simon growled. "Now, pull your shit together." 

"Can't.... can't... " Negan gasped. "I need...Riicckk...!" he wailed. 

"If you don't pull your shit together you won't ever have him. We have to get out there while the trail is fresh, before it gets cold. There isn't anyplace for him to go that we can't find, if we get our asses in gear right now. Or, do you want that fucking redneck bastard to have that beauty for himself..." 

"Nooooo.... " Negan snarled, lunging at Simon,who jumped up and away. "I'll kill him if he touches Rick. Rick is MINE!!! I'll fucking tear that Mother Fucker apart with my bare hands if he touches Rick!" 

Negan stumbled to his feet, finally, the thought of another man having what belonged to him, and Rick did belong to him. He had staked his claim on that gorgeous creature, and they'd have to pry him from Negan's dead fingers before they could claim him. 

Negan pulled from so deep inside, he could literally smell the earth, bringing in that scent that was only Rick; the woodsy soapy scent and fresh clean sweat that he'd committed to memory long ago, and that hint of sweet-tart apple on the breath that tickled his nostrils... 

And, ... then...the soft sweet lips, that had kissed him so hungrily... the firm silky skin that slid under his hands ... and the hot moist tightness that had yielded to him, surrounded him, clenched around him so wonderfully, and taken him so completely into itself; and he remembered when those arms had pulled him down in total surrender... 

Yes, Rick was his... totally his... and he had to have that feeling again, to know what it was like to be held in the arms of an angel, to know heaven... to know love... Rick had loved him...he refused to believe otherwise. And, there was no way in hell he would ever let that go. 

"Ok... I am back in control, Simon. Give me a report... What's the damage?" Negan gave a raspy growl. 

"They took out nine, including Dwight, when they freed the rest of the prisoners... your rampage took out three more. That's a dozen down... quite a hit... some of your best. Zeb, Will and Earl, along with Dwight. But, we can still operate with what we have left. And... Sherry is gone too." Simon added cautiously. 

"Well... that bitch will pay for her defection! She helped them take Rick away from me... and that shit comes with a price. All of those fuckers will pay for stealing from me. Now, let's go get shit together and go get my property back." Negan ended, heading out of the room.


	2. Whispers and Flames

"C'mon, Rick. Ya been hidin' out in this room for days..."

"Ain't been hiding out." Rick interrupted Daryl. "Just resting. It's been a little rough for me, you know." 

"Sorry..."Daryl hung his head. "Are ya... hurt...Did he damage ya..." 

"I'm ok... he was... I'm still...uh... little sore... but..." Rick didn't know what to say. He didn't want to explain it to Daryl. He couldn't even explain it to himself. He still hated Negan, of that he was sure, probably hated him more than he'd ever hated anyone in his life. But... he also remembered the feel of his hands...the feel of his mouth...the heat and taste of his kisses, the feel of being totally enveloped in his presence... and the feel of him...inside of him... filling him... making him feel so... and the unbearable pleasure... the feeling of such unbelievable... 

And, he remembered how he had wanted it... wanted Negan so much...needed him... and felt such shame. It wasn't about being with a man, though that had shocked him a bit too, but how could he have responded to Negan like that? The man was his enemy, and a despicable human being. Rick wasn't going to pretend moral superiority any longer, didn't feel he had the right. He had been wrong. He could admit that. But, he had betrayed his friends, had allowed the enemy entrance to places more intimate than his closest friends had ever been. He didn't see how anyone would ever forgive him. He certainly couldn't forgive himself. 

"He...you don't understand, bro... I..." Rick didn't know what to say. 

"Ya need to get outta that bed, get your clothes on, an' go for a walk, Rick, away from this place. Ya need any help?" 

"I can dress myself, Daryl." 

"Well, do it then, an' come with me." 

Rick nodded, throwing back the blanket and sitting up on the side of the bed.  
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They had probably walked three miles, totally in silence, other than the sounds of twigs snapping under Rick's boots. At first, movement had seemed a little painful, but gradually it had grown smooth and graceful again, the way Daryl remembered Rick's movements, always so smooth and graceful...and sexy. He knew exactly what Negan had seen in the man. Rick wasn't even aware of what he had, and men like Negan would always try to own that. Rick was someone special. To try to cage someone like that was wrong. He was like a beautiful exotic bird, that was meant to fly.

Daryl shook his head, smiling a little, thinking of how his thoughts turned to flights of fancy when he thought of Rick. Before he met Rick, his life had been such a mess, and he'd simply been existing. And, as incredible as it was to say, in a world such as this; now he was living. That's what Rick had given him, life... Rick had made him start living, rather than just existing. And, for the first time in his life he had felt real love. He hadn't known such a thing really existed, other than lip service, never having felt it before... but Rick really cared about people... and people really cared about Rick. The man was special... that was all Daryl could say. 

Daryl remembered the first time he met Rick, how he had felt something about him, though he hadn't acknowledged it at the time. It wasn't until much later, he'd admitted to himself that it had been love-at-first- sight with the man... though he hadn't realized it at the time. Hell, he didn't even know what the hell love was, so how could he recognise it when it slammed him in the face. So, he had kept it to himself, understanding he wasn't worthy of such a man. 

And, Daryl remembered when Rick had said he was his brother; how those words had been such a double edged knife to his soul. He had felt such overwhelming emotion that someone cared about him so much, thought of him as family, but it also killed him that Rick thought of him as family, when he wanted so much more. But, he was grateful for whatever Rick gave him, not feeling deserving, but not going to refuse it either. He would just bask in every word or touch he received, and continue to worship from a distance. 

But, now, Rick knew how he felt. It should have been awkward between them, but it wasn't. Rick hadn't declared his own feelings, but he hadn't rejected Daryl's either. So, Daryl couldn't help but be a little giddy, with the thought that maybe he'd have a chance with this man. Maybe Rick would learn to love him too, if he could get over what Negan had done to him, that is. And, if he didn't get back together with Michonne... Daryl wouldn't rule that out. He knew Rick had a lot of feelings for the warrior princess, but he didn't know if he was in love with her, and if he wasn't, Daryl was going for it, whether he was worthy of Rick or not. Hell, it was the end of the world, and he wanted the chance to have what others had... true happiness. 

Daryl had been so lost in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed Rick had stopped walking. He just glanced over and noticed the man wasn't there. He jerked around, to see him standing back at a distance, leaning against a tree. Daryl hurried back, to check and see if he was ok. 

Rick gave him a small smile as he approached. "Figured we'd walked far enough." Rick said. "Need to talk..." 

"Figured." Daryl replied.

"Yeah, well..." Rick wanted to talk, but how to start. "You're gonna hate me, but gotta tell you the truth. Negan...Man, I hate that bastard, hate him more than I ever hated anybody in my life..." 

"Son-of-a-bitch fuckin' raped you..."

"Daryl, just let me talk... please..." Rick waited a moment, to make sure Daryl was going to listen before he said anything else. "...it's not that simple... he didn't exactly rape me..." 

"Bullshit!..." Daryl growled. 

"It's the fucking truth..." Rick snapped, silencing Daryl. "Yes...he kept me prisoner... and yes, he did some things to me against my will... but he didn't rape me... I was a participant in part of it... and I, or at least my body enjoyed a lot of what he did..." Rick said, pausing, working up the courage to continue. "You see... I'm not worthy of leading these people anymore. I'm just as much of an asshole as Negan is. I hate him. God, how I hate him! But... I won't lie. He didn't rape me... We had sex... we fucked! But, it wasn't rape. He did things to me I never imagined... and I enjoyed it..." Rick whispered. "And, may God forgive me, because I can't forgive myself..." 

Tears were streaming down Rick's cheeks, and Daryl was in shock. But, it didn't change his feelings for Rick. He just realized if Negan had made Rick realize what he could feel for another man, then Daryl could do a hell of a lot better. He could give him all that with love. Daryl should have been horrified by Rick's admission, but all he felt was euphoric, that all of his dreams were about to come true. Rick Grimes was going to love him as much as he loved Rick. That was all his brain could compute at the moment. 

"...Did you hear what I said, Daryl...?" Rick sputtered. "I am a worthless peice of..." Rick's words were cut off when Daryl reached out and grabbed the back of his neck, jerking him forward. 

"Did ya fuckin' hear what I said... before? I-love-you, ya stupid ass... And, I gaurantee, all your people fuckin' love ya. You are special. That's why that bastard wanted ya. But, just because he knows how to fuck ya doesn't mean shit. He don't know how to love ya. I... know how to do that!" 

Daryl hadn't really meant to do what he did next, but with his pulling Rick so close, almost up against him, it only took a slight movement, and Rick was in his arms. And, his mouth came down on Rick's, hungry and needy, hot and starving, and Rick's lips were all wet from his tears, slightly salty and so soft. And, Rick allowed himself to melt into the kiss, let Daryl's tongue push between his lips, taste him; then he was reciprocating, and their tongues dueled with each other, hot and wet and hungry. 

It went on for several minutes, as their mouths devoured each other, until Daryl grabbed a handful of Rick's ass, pulling him against his hard erection, feeling the hardness of Rick in return. That's when Rick seemed to come to his senses, and he started to struggle in Daryl's arms, fighting him now, trying to free himself. And, Daryl let him go. Rick stumbled back, panting, wiping the back of his hand across his lips. 

"No... no... I can't do this..." Rick cried. "Michonne..." 

"Are ya in love with her, Rick?" Daryl growled, trying to calm himself, still hungering for the man in front of him. 

"I love her." Rick said. 

"I asked if ya was in love with her." Daryl countered. 

"... I don't know... " Rick rasped. "I'm not sure... I thought I was in love with Lori but... I care more about Michonne than Lori...but I don't know if I'm 'in love'..." 

"If ya don't know, you're not. If ya was, ya wouldn't want to be with me... I know ya enjoyed that kiss. And, I won't let you forget that." Daryl growled. "But... I won't force ya, Rick." 

Rick couldn't answer... not sure what he wanted... He'd hated himself for responding to Negan in such a way, thought he'd betrayed his people, and tainted his love for Michonne, and when Daryl had first confessed that he loved him, he had been surprised. But, when he had responded to Daryl's kiss, he'd shocked himself even more, realizing Negan wasn't the only man he responded to. What the hell was wrong with him? 

But, the worst thing of all was when he remembered what had happened with Negan, and that was when he truely hated himself. And, yes, he did want more with Daryl. He wanted to feel Daryl inside him, filling him up, touching that spot inside him that filled him with such pleasure, realizing he had feelings for Daryl he'd never thought about before. 

Rick knew he didn't care about Negan, yet his body had burned for him, and he was afraid that if Negan found him, he could make him feel that again;... and he'd rather be dead than betray his people again, in that way. It didn't matter that Daryl said they would understand. He didn't understand.  
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The first stop, when they'd gotten everyone organized, had been the Hilltop community. And, those spineless sheep had rolled over easily, without their leader there. Negan hadn't expected that 'Jesus' jerk to be there, after all, his having been with the fucking redneck that stole Rick from him. The little bastard had surprised him there, his not having recognised him when he'd worked for that gutless prick, Gregory. He'd only seen someone who followed orders and kept their mouth shut, and he had thought he'd be easy and pliable, someone with enough skills to keep his community functioning, but not any threat to Negan or the Sanctuary. Boy, had he miscalculated there.

But, the Hilltop was leaderless, now, and pliable. Negan learned that the damn Redneck had been hiding out here when he had taken Rick. He couldn't believe he had missed that one, but in his own defense, he hadn't known the fucker had escaped at that time. It wasn't until he'd returned to the Sanctuary that he'd found out. But, he'd been stupid in thinking he could just dismiss that bastard, because the son-of-a-bitch had come in and raided the henhouse, stealing the golden goose. Mistakes... Negan had made some serious mistakes, and he'd paid dearly for them. Well, he wasn't going to make any more. 

Once he had Rick back, there was going to be no possibility of ever losing him again; which meant everyone involved in taking Rick from him was going to be dead, including that fucking Redneck and the Jesus freak, along with the goddamn Warrior Princess and any of Rick's 'family' he had left, other than his son, that is. Negan just couldn't kill the kid. He figured Rick could survive the death of everyone but his son, plus, Negan actually liked the kid. But, that didn't mean he would be stupid enough to trust the brat, not yet, anyway. 

And, the new players that he'd learned of were going to be just as misfortunate. There was someone called Rhichard and a smart-ass fucker they'd called 'Jax' who Negan would have to deal with. He was sorry he'd have to get rid of Eugene, because he'd been of a lot of use, but maybe this, 'Jax' character could be useful in the same manner, without all the emotional baggage and attachment to Rick that Eugene had. His biggest problem was Maggie, of course. He needed to get rid of her, but she was pregnant, and he couldn't kill an innocent child. That is where he drew the line completely. 

He didn't like to kill women, but would if totally necessary, and Maggie was necessary, a part of Rick's 'family', as were Michonne and Tara, the other females in Rick's group that were to be eliminated. But, Negan would not be the one to put the bullets in their brains; he'd let his men do that, although he'd take personal pleasure in gutting the fucking Redneck when they found him. But, Maggie was a special case. Just couldn't kill her, not with a baby to consider. Well, he'd deal with that when he came to it. 

But, the Hilltop couldn't tell him where these new players had come from, only the names they'd been called. So, Negan needed to find out where they came from... because he was certain that is where he'd find his lost lover and all those connected with stealing him, that's where he'd find Rick... his Rick... the other half of his soul... the flame that lit his heart and made it fly... Rick, rick, rick.... the only melody he'd ever sing, the only song he ever wanted to hear again, the only tune he'd never tire of. But, first he had to get that priceless violin back, before he could hear the sweet music it played when it was in his hands. 

After, Negan had left the Hilltop, he wasn't sure which way to go, deciding to make a side trip just to check over the ruins of Alexandria, not that he thought he'd find anyone there, it was ashes, after all. But, he never wanted to overlook anything. And, it was in the direction he was going to go anyway, meaning in the opposite direction of his Sanctuary, and he knew those thieves had headed away from that place, so he headed that way too. And, as he stood in the ruins, he could smile, because this place was no longer attached to Rick, as Hilltop had not been. So, that just left the Sanctuary as an attachment to Rick. It was his home and where he belonged, now, and Negan was going to make sure he ended up back there and never left it again.

"Uh, Negan..." Simon interrupted his reverie, making him focus on something other than his mental wanderings. 

"What is it, Simon?" Negan asked, giving his second his full attention. 

"Well..., I've been thinking... and I recall there being a guy named Rhichard that was part of a group we collected from. We had an arrangement with them, where they brought their tributes to a designated place for pick-ups. It was a strange group, led by some clown that called himself a king, as did his followers. Don't really know much about them. They weren't my charges, since I was dealing with Hilltop, but I heard Gavin say something about how Jared had a bit of a pissin' contest with one of them named Rhichard, and they really seemed to have problems every time they met up." Simon explained. "It might be nothing, but it might be something. Now, we don't really know where this group calls home, but I'm sure it would have to be something, because they always come up with their tributes without any problems, so we never bothered them, because had no reason to rock a boat that was sailing free. Might be something to think about, maybe look for their little Paradise. Be a good place to hide, I'd think..." Simon waited for a response from his leader 

"Simon...I think I fucking love you!" Negan crowed, grabbing the surprised savior by his ears and jerking him forward, planting a kiss on one cheek then the other, before shoving him away. "You have at least been using that goddamn brain of yours for something useful. Let's head for that designated pick-up spot. Leave this fucking graveyard behind, and see if we can make a connection with this fucking king!" Negan headed back toward the truck, over reminiscing about this ghost town, and headed for a rendevous with destiny. He had a lover to find, and some fucking people to destroy, and he was looking forward to it.  
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Rick decided on a shower, having worked up quite a sweat after his long walk with Daryl, plus a little intimate action he hadn't planned, adding to the heat, and he needed a shower for more than one reason. He decided he also needed to talk to a few people, instead of hiding out in that room, and letting Daryl run interference for him. He had been refusing to see any of his group except for his children, and had even refused to talk to Carl about the time at the Sanctuary. As for Judith, he just wanted to hold her and love her as much as possible, and she was too young to ask the probing questions her brother could, so it was easy with her.

Rick had let her stay with Michonne and Carl though, not wanting to rock her world more than necessary. He knew he was going to have to talk to Michonne, not that he meant to tell her about Negan, that wasn't up for discussion with anyone, not even Daryl, other than the one talk they'd had, and the one Rick had made him swear he'd keep secret. Daryl had made the promise, though he hadn't understood why Rick made him take a vow of silence, since he never talked to other people about their talks anyway, didn't talk to anybody much period, other than Rick. 

And, Rick was finding it surprisingly difficult not to notice the Redneck, since that kiss. He seemed to sense Daryl's nearness, in a way he never had before, and in a way that certainly distracted him unconfortably. He made his way to his room, stripping out of his sweaty clothes, and turning on the shower, a little on the cool side. When he turned the shower off a few minutes later, he felt clean and clear-headed, and decided he needed to clear some of the scrub off his face, smiling to himself, as he smoothed the soap foam over the beginning beard, then scraped his face smooth again, shaking his head, as he stared at his face in the mirror. 

"You sure do clean up well..." Rick jerked around at the voice, finding the pretty brunette standing in the doorwell. He searched his mind a moment, before he recalled her name... 

"...Uh...Sherry...right?" 

"I'm flattered." Sherry smiled. "You remembered." 

"Something I can do for you?" Rick asked. 

"Just wanted to check on you." Sherry gave Rick another smile. "I helped save you from Negan, you know. And, I only asked for one thing for putting myself in such danger. I don't think it was much to ask for under the circumstances..." 

"Oh...?" Rick was confused, turning to face Sherry. 

"Yeah." Sherry walked up to Rick, reaching up to touch his clean face softly with one hand. "I just wanted a kiss as payment for putting my life at risk..." Sherry's hand slid around to the back of Rick's head, fingers wrapping in his soft curls, and she pulled him forward so their lips met. 

Rick was surprised by the kiss, and let Sherry's soft lips meld to his, let the wet tongue press in between them, even briefly let himself enjoy the taste of her mouth, moving his lips against hers... then he pulled away, pulling his head from her grasp, and backing up a couple steps. 

"Stop..." Rick held up a hand. "This is not going to happen... you and I... no..." 

"Just wanted my payment..." 

"Well... you got it, then. But, you and I... nothing else is going to happen." Rick said. 

"You are a beautiful man, Rick..." 

"I've heard that before..." Rick frowned. 

"I'm sure you have..." Sherry said. "But, you are more than that... and I'd like to get to know you better." 

"Sorry..." Rick replied. "I don't want to hurt your feelings or anything, because you are a beautiful woman and I can see that, but my plate is really full right now, and I don't need any more complications. I don't have anything to give you and don't forsee that changing in the future. I thank you for all your help, but you have been repaid. You got the kiss you wanted, but there won't be any more in the future. Now, I'd like for you to leave. I need to get dressed, and I have some people I need to see." Rick said. "And, please don't come here anymore. Go find someone that has something to give you. I don't have that." Rick ended the conversation by turning away. 

Sherry turned around and walked away, but she hadn't given up on the cowboy yet. And, that kiss had certainly been worth it, and she planned to be getting that beautiful man to dole out a few more, and she wanted more than just a few kisses. She wanted to be able to call that man hers.


	3. Heart of Mine

Rick was more confused than ever. He was sure he hated Negan, or he thought he did, but if that were true why did he burn for his touch? And, he knew he loved Daryl, but why was he feeling this new sexual attraction to him. He had never felt that before, his feelings of love had been that of a brother. Why the change? Negan seemed to have changed something in him, made him a far more sexual person, aware of himself in a way he'd never been before. But, he still loved Michonne as well, and Sherry's kiss had even been appealing. He'd felt it, though it hadn't been as uncontrollable as the thing between him and Daryl, maybe because she wasn't as close to him as Daryl, but he could have easily let it lead to something more. He had stopped it simply because it was unknown.

Rick knew he needed to talk to the rest of his people. He'd been avoiding all of them except Daryl, other than his children, and he'd even been stonewalling Carl. He knew he had to tell them the truth. It wasn't something he wanted, but he knew he had to do it. They deserved honesty. And, he wanted to be able to tell all of them how sorry he was at the loss of their family, his family, and ask for their forgiveness at his fall, hoping they would be able to understand, as Daryl had said they would. 

And, he wanted Michonne to know of his change of feelings, especially. It's not that he didn't love her, because he did, but he was sure he wasn't 'in love' with her. He realised that now. Daryl was right. He would never have felt that passion for Daryl if he was truly in love with Michonne. But, he didn't believe he was in love with Daryl either, though he did love him, and now in a totally different way, and he was strongly sexually attracted to him. They would need to talk about that, too, decide what was going on, but he needed to talk to the rest of his family first. And he needed to talk to The King; thank him for everything he'd done and discuss what was happening. 

As for his feelings for Negan, he knew he didn't love him, closer to the opposite, but there was something between them too, something sexual, something Rick didn't want but couldn't stop. And, his family needed to know about that too. Rick knew he was going to have to talk about a lot of things he didn't want to today, but it was necessary. And, he needed to speak with the King, try to find out if he was safe here from Negan, because Rick was sure Negan would come looking for him, would never just let him go. And, he was afraid, more for his family than for himself; because Negan was going to be angry and would want to punish the people responsible for Rick's escape. Rick didn't want harm to come to anyone over him. He wasn't worth it. And, he needed to know if the Kingdom would be able to battle the Sanctuary, or if they even wanted to.

Rick didn't really expect them to stick their necks out for him, but he needed to know, and his family needed to find someplace else if that was the case. Rick just didn't see a way out of the situation, feeling his family would be forever on the run from Negan... until he caught them, that is, and he would catch them. Rick couldn't even pretend it wouldn't happen. The only way to stop it was if he killed Negan or someone else did. But, Rick wasn't sure he could do it, or let anyone else. He didn't know if he wanted the man dead, or if he wanted... he just didn't know what he wanted, other than for his family, or what was left of them, to be safe.  
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"Hey," Rick said, suddenly feeling a little shy. He had come to talk to Michonne in the room she was staying in, sharing it with Tara, actually. Rick was going to move into a room, too, leave the hospital ward, really needed to anyway. He had no reason to be taking a bed that could be used by someone else. And, he thought he might share the room with his children; he'd ask the King about that later. He didn't think it should be a problem, as Carl was already sharing a room with his sister, taking care of her, doing his father's job, and Rick wanted to take over, give his son a break. 

"You want to talk to me?" Michonne interrupted his musings.

"Oh... yeah, I did." Rick shook his head. "This is a little difficult for me. I need to tell you some things, but I'm not sure how." 

"Just tell me, Rick." Michonne said softly. "We are both adults here." 

"I don't think... I know you aren't going to like this, but I have to be honest with you." Rick began. "It concerns the time we were prisoners of Negan's." Rick paused, giving himself a moment, before he continued, and Michonne waited patiently. "I need for you to know that some things happened between us, things that shouldn't have happened..." 

"I know he raped you, Rick." Michonne said. "I knew he would when he took you. I knew he wanted you from the first time we met the man. It was pretty obvious. I'm just sorry you had to go through that." 

"It's not exactly that cut and dried, Michonne." Rick countered. "He didn't exactly rape me... it wasn't really rape...I know, I was a prisoner, and he made it pretty clear that he wanted me that way... and he set up the night for it to happen... But, I let it happen... didn't fight him... in fact, quite the opposite..." Rick was finding the words hard to say, but was determined. 

"I understand, Rick.... It was better for you to just let him have you... so you weren't hurt any more. You don't have to be sorry about that." 

"That's not what I meant." Rick tried to explain. "I'm trying to tell you he didn't rape me. He didn't just take me... I gave myself to him... and I liked it... I really liked it... didn't know I would... never thought of another man that way... but I do now..." 

"What are you trying to say, Rick?" Michonne asked. "Was our time just a lie? I find that hard to believe. You were married... have children. I don't believe you didn't love your wife, or me...." 

"I thought I loved Lori... but maybe I didn't, but I did love you... do love you." Rick corrected, causing Michonne to let out a small smile. 

"Then, it doesn't matter, does it?" Michonne replied. "You can't help that your body responded to Negan. He just knew how to use it against you. But, we still love each other, and I don't hold that against you. We can still be what we were." 

"We can't be what we were, Michonne." Rick said. "I love you, but I'm not in love with you. That's what you deserve. I know that if I were in love with you, I wouldn't be attracted to another man..." 

"Your body responding to Negan doesn't mean you are attracted to men, Rick..." 

"You don't understand." Rick interrupted her, before she could say anything else. "I don't mean Negan, though I do feel a sexual attraction to him too. It's Daryl. I have feelings for Daryl. And, I have a sexual attraction to him, too... one that is based on love. I love him, Michonne. I've loved him like a brother for a while, now, but I don't feel that way anymore. The love is totally different now. And, I'd like to find out what it is. I don't think it's fair to you to not let you know how I feel." Rick finished. He sat there waiting for her response. 

"Are you saying you are 'in love' with Daryl?" 

"No...no, I don't know what I'm saying. I just want you to know I have feelings for him... feelings I'd like to explore. I want to find out what I feel for him, and I want you to know where we stand. I can't promise you a future together when I have these feelings. But, I don't want to lose your friendship either. You are still family, regardless. But, I want to find out how deep my feelings for Daryl go." 

"It's ok, Rick. I love you, will always love you. And, I know Daryl loves you, has loved you for a long time. And, even though it hurts, I'm not going to try to stop you. If you have feelings for Daryl... you need to find out what there is. It won't be easy to just be your friend, but I will try. I only want you to be happy, Rick. That's all I ever wanted; because I love you and I think you deserve to be happy, even if it's not with me." 

Michonne was more understanding than Rick thought he deserved. But, he was going to take it anyway. He had to. He couldn't bear to think about hurting Daryl, by refusing to give him a chance. Rick wanted to find out what was between them, beyond the obvious sexual attraction.  
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Rick went to talk to his son, finding him in his room, tending his sister, watching her sleep anyway. Rick asked if they could talk, and Carl nodded. The house where he was staying had been an old dormitory at one time. There were a lot of rooms. All of Rick's family was staying here, most sharing rooms. Michonne was sharing a room with Tara, the two of them having grown surprisingly close, after their time at the Sanctuary. Jesus and Aaron had also decided to share a room. They seemed to have connected in a way, and Jesus seemed to be helping him deal with the loss of his husband. Rick was glad for them.

Rick had been surprised to find that Eugene had decided to have a roomate, too, but was shocked that it was Sherry. This was something he would never have imagined in a million years. 

"It's very platonic, Dad." Carl said. He had just been explaining to his father some of the room set-ups, and Rick had let him, delaying what he'd come here to talk to him about, just letting Carl explain sleeping arrangements to him. "They are like brother and sister, and they sure argue like it. I hope Judy and I aren't like that when she gets older." 

Rick almost lost it at his son's words. Carl was looking to the future, as if there was one to look forward to. Rick wished he could do that, but unfortunately he knew the reality. He just wished he could have that future for Carl, but he saw no way to make it happen. 

"You know, Jesus really likes Aaron too, though I don't think Aaron realizes it. He's mourning Eric still. But, I think someday he will help Aaron get past it. That would be nice." Carl said. "I just think it was amazing that Daryl decided to take a room, though he didn't take any roommates. He said it was because the room was next to mine and Judy's and he wanted to keep an eye on us. It was nice of him though. I love Judy, but it's a little rough being so totally responsible for her..." 

"You don't have to do it anymore. I'm back." Rick said. I think I'll move in here with you guys, take up the slack. It's about time anyway." 

"Are you sure you're ready?" Carl asked. 

"More than ready. I miss my kids. And, speaking of kids, I noticed you didn't mention Enid. Where is she at?" 

Rick chuckled when his son blushed, knowing how Carl felt about the pretty teen. Ah, young love... 

"She moved in with some of the other girls here. They're about her age, and it's kind of like a sorority, I guess. This place used to be a college campus, you know. It is pretty cool. There are a lot of the school buildings, and the King has put them all to use. If you're really ready to move in here and take care of Judy again, I'll just move in with the guys. They have another house. It would be like going to college. And, they do have classes here too, teaching all the kids. I know Enid is going to attend some classes. I might join her and the other kids. An education isn't such a bad idea. 

"Wow!" Rick couldn't believe how normal this community was, a little Paradise set in the middle of hell, a place where time had stopped, and rewound, back to when the world was a normal place, without a bunch of walking dead people, and groups of people that didn't know the meaning of sanity. Of course, it was an illusion. But, it was nice to pretend, if only for a minute, Rick thought. 

"Sorry, Dad. I shouldn't run off and leave you, when you just came back..." Carl apologized. 

"No, no, Carl. Don't apologize. You deserve a life, too. I want you to have that." Rick shook his head. "But, there are some things I need to talk to you about, and it isn't going to be easy." 

"Ok." Carl sat down on the bed, attentive, ready to hear what his father had to say to him, since he'd been refusing to talk to him, since they'd gotten here. 

"It's about my time at the Sanctuary, and about some things that have changed since then." 

A little while later, Rick was standing there, silently waiting for his son to say something about what he'd just told him. He had given him a much simpler version of what he'd told Michonne, not getting so detailed, but getting the points across. He'd told him about having sex with Negan, and that it wasn't rape. He'd also told him about his attraction to Daryl, and the fact it was mutual. And, he had told him that he and Michonne weren't going to be together, but that they were still friends. And, that was as much as he could tell his son. Now, he was just waiting for a reaction. 

"I'm sorry for you and Michonne. She's like my Mom. But, if you like Daryl like that, I understand. The world is different now, and life is too uncertain to worry about the stupid things. You just love who you love. It doesn't matter. But... Negan! Come on, Dad. That guy's an asshole. I don't understand the attraction at all, and I wouldn't even if he hadn't done all the shit he did to our people. He's just not someone I'd ever see you with. Thank God we got away from him. I'd sure hate to have him for a stepfather. And, I don't even want to know why you had sex with him. Don't want to know about your sex life at all. Kids don't really want to know that about their parents, you know." Carl said. "But, I do want you to be happy, Dad, and if that's with Daryl, I'm ok with it. But, I'm not going to call him Dad. He can be Uncle. That's about as close as I can get to calling him anything other than just Daryl, ok. Now, if you are ok, with being left alone with Judy, I'm gonna go find Enid. Nice to have you back." And, just like that, Carl was gone. 

Rick sat down on the bed, in the spot his son had vacated, looking at his sweet little girl sleeping so peacefully in a crib, and smiled. Maybe everything could be ok, after all.  
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"Ok, Sir. We scouted out the area, and it's definitely the place. You can see some guys dressed up like medieval knights or something. Haven't caught sight of Rick or his people yet, though. But, Gavin said he spotted that Rhichard character." Simon told Negan. 

"Well, report to me when you see any of those bastards. I need to be one hundred percent sure of their involvement before we ruin our relationship with them. There are more Rhichards out in the world than the one he knows, and though it's highly unlikely it's not the same one, I still want to be sure before I destroy this place, if I destroy it. I might just want to move here, if it's such a fucking paradise. The fuckers that live here can just be slave labor." Negan laughed. "What is the place anyway?"

"Used to be a college campus, looks like. But a wall was put up sometime. There are a lot of buildings, dorms, sorority houses and classroom buildings. There's even a theatre. It is a regular community, with gardens and animals and shit." Simon said. "You're right about moving here. It beats the shit out of the Sanctuary, and everything is in place for a prosperous community." 

"Hell of a fucking place, once we clean out the trash then. Tell Gavin to get back to the watch, and let me know the minute we get a confirmation of Rick's group."

Simon walked away from the truck, back over to a group of men, to send them back to the community, to wait for a sighting of Rick Grimes' people, then he walked back over to the truck, climbing in the driver's seat. They'd have to wait now. The first scouting trip had been to find out about the community, get the lay out for when it came time to take it over, if they had to use force. 

Negan wasn't prepared to go to battle, yet. He didn't want anything to happen to Rick, and he wanted to spare the kid and Maggie, with her being pregnant. Anyone else was fair game, though he would prefer to kill that redneck bastard himself, gut the bastard like he had dreamed of doing to Spencer, for being annoying. Maybe he'd have to come up with something worse for the redneck, because he had been far more than just annoying, but he was not sure what that was yet. He just knew that S.O.B. had to die in a most horrific manner, and not at the end of Lucille. That piece of shit didn't deserve getting such intimacy from his sweet Lucille. 

But, if there was to be a battle, he wanted to make sure Rick was safe, above all else; then his heir, and the pregnant widow. Maggie needed to be kept safe til she whelped her pup at least, then he'd decide what happened to her.When he thought of Maggie having a baby, he could picture Rick mothering it, raising it like his own. Hell he could picture the two of them raising the baby together, a perfect family. Carl was a little too old to be a part of that perfect family, and Negan still planned to raise that boy up as a soldier, and eventually sever his ties to his father. But a newborn would be perfect, a child that they could raise together.

Of course, Maggie was the problem. She might need to have an unfortunate accident after the baby was born, giving Rick the chance to bond with her baby. Rick would feel totally responsible for raising the orphan, as Maggie had been family, and with his missing his son Carl... Maybe Maggie could just die in childbirth...the Dr could be clever that way. Negan was having a bit of a conscious attack though at the thought of actually causing an accident for a new mother. It wasn't something he liked to think himself capable of even contemplating, alone setting in motion. He hoped there would be another solution. He needed her baby to complete his family with Rick. There was no other way. 

Negan let his mind wander back to the last time he'd seen Rick. They had just made love, and the poor man had been exhausted, falling asleep in Negan's arms. And, as he lay there watching his lover sleep, he couldn't believe this wonderful creature belonged to him. Rick looked so beautiful as he slept, and Negan wanted it to be this way forever. He knew Rick loved him that night, had showed his love, earlier. 

Negan had been ready to start his new life with Rick at his side. They would run the Sanctuary together. Rick was the sensible to his insane, though he knew Rick could rock the insanity as well as he did. But, Rick would have no reason for insanity anymore, because Negan would take care of everything, and Rick wouldn't need to worry his pretty little head about anything. 

And, now, as soon as he got rid of all of Rick's ties to his past, his lover wouldn't have anything to concern himself with, and he could spend all his energy on adoring...Negan. There would be no need for him to worry or fret about that stupid family of his. Hell, he could make new friends that Negan approved of, though not too many. Negan didn't want him distracted. 

Negan's mind drifted back, replaying his time with Rick, stopping to remember that first kiss, and how Rick had bitten him, and how angry the man had been, and how Negan had thought of how much passion Rick had, and how he wanted it for himself. And, the subsequent kisses, and more bites, as the tension between them grew, and how it had felt the first time he'd made Rick come, and how it had devastated Rick. And, he remembered when he had told Rick he was going to make love to him on that night, how much of a wreck he'd been, how he'd resisted, and how he'd finally fallen.

Negan replayed every time his lips touched Rick, every inch of his skin that he'd kissed, how he'd trembled in Negan's arms, the anguish in his moans, as he succumbed to the pleasure. And he remembered how that body arched in his arms, whining with need, a need he had given it. And, he remembered just how beautiful Rick had looked, his eyes wild, such a brilliant blue it was blinding, and so hungry, just before he'd pulled Negan down into that final kiss, his body convulsing around Negan's hardness, clenching so hard, as his orgasm tore through him, and how his tongue shoved hard into Negan's mouth, kissing him desperately, revealing the love he felt in those final moments of passion. 

Rick could never have kissed him like that if he didn't love him. It had been the first time Rick had actually kissed him, and it had been worth the wait. Rick certainly could kiss, though Negan hadn't been sure of that before, not that he cared, enjoying the man's mouth regardless. But, finally, Rick had really kissed him, and it felt like his heart was pouring from his mouth into Negan's, giving him something he'd never gave anyone. And, Negan knew he couldn't live without this man. If he lost Rick, he was losing his soul, and it had almost happened. But, thankfully, Simon had assured him he could get Rick back, and it was about to come true. 

"Negan, hey man, come on, wake the fuck up!" Simon snapped, almost losing patiance. 

"Shit... what the fuck?" Negan came awake with a start. "What the hell are you yelling at me for, Simon. You should know better than that shit..." 

"Rick...Rick...he's there. We found him. And, you aren't going to believe what else Gavin saw. You will shit your pants... but you are going to get Christmas early this year, if you don't die of heart failure first. I know you wanted to have a family with Rick, but didn't know how to make that happen. Well, it's already in place. Gavin saw Rick, and he was talking to that King, but that's not what was really interesting. The interesting thing was a beautiful blonde in his arms..." 

"What in the hell are you talking about? What fucking bitch thinks she can have my man. I'll kill the whore. Rick is mine!" Negan was beside himself, just about to totally lose it at the thought of Rick with anyone besides himself. 

"Whoa, man. Calm down. It's not like that. You misunderstood me. I guess I should have clarified about the beautiful blonde; she's absolutely adorable, curls just like her daddy. A baby, man. A beautiful little girl. And, Gavin said it was easy to tell how close they were. That little girl belongs to Rick." Simon grinned. "But, why didn't we know about her before? How did he hide her from us? Fuck, this is something else. Looks like you get that family you always wanted, boss..." Simon trailed off, realizing his boss was stunned, at a loss for a response, then he saw the first tears welling up in Negan's eyes, before they spilled over, starting to slide down his cheeks. Then, the body began to shake, and Simon didn't know what to do with the sobbing man in the truck beside him. 

Simon turned, shooing Gavin back away from the truck. Negan didn't need an audience for this. He needed a few minutes of privacy to deal with this new revelation, and didn't need any fools thinking he was weak, and thinking they could challenge his authority. Fools like that would end up dead, and the Sanctuary didn't need that. They needed all the soldiers they had, if they were going to remain top dogs, and fighting among themselves wasn't something any of them needed right now. So, he'd give Negan the time he needed to pull his ass back together, then they'd get a plan in place, and get the damn show on the road.


	4. Dreams and Ashes

"I- I ..." Negan tried to speak, but was sobbing too hard. And, it wasn't tears of grief, either. He was just overcome with so much emotion; relief, elation, hell he was over the moon. All of his dreams were coming true, and it was just too much. "F-Fin-ally... fin-ally, Rick... I... I... get him ...back. And, he has ...a daughter... We can be a family... a family...." 

"Yeah, boss... You get your family... just like you always wanted." Simon was embarrassed to be witnessing this emotional breakdown of Negan's. It wasn't like they were close in a way that they could be like this together. And, he needed Negan to be the tough guy... at least in public. This little break was going to have to be taken care of... to make sure the Saviors didn't think they could challange him. Negan needed his shit together. He could be as soft as he wanted in private with Rick, but he needed to get it together in public. He waited until Negan was over his meltdown, for the most part, before he said anything else, though.

"Now, we need to put a plan in place, boss. We want to go in and get Rick, and we want him alive, as well as ourselves. Wouldn't be worth much if we end up dead in the process." Simon stated. 

"But, Rick won't kill me, Simon. I know he loves me. Those people took him away from me. He didn't have a chose about leaving." Negan protested. 

"You may be right about him caring about you, but he cares about his people, too. And, he will put them above you. And, if he has to kill you to protect them, he will. You need to understand that. If he sees you as a threat against them, he'll take you down... Do you understand? Don't think you can just go in there spouting sonnets and think all will be right with the world and that he will just rush into your arms. Think with your head instead of your heart. The two of you can straighten all your shit out later, once we take care of the big picture. So, I need you to get your head back where it belongs and tell me the plan..." Simon redirected Negan, not really believing that Rick Grimes cared about Negan, in fact thinking the total opposite, but not about to voice that opinion to Negan. 

"Of course, of course. You are right. Rick will not let his feelings for me cloud his head about protecting his people... and I need to do the same. We need a surprise attack. We'll sneak some men in, over the walls... and they'll unlock the gates. Then we go in, taking out anyone with a gun, as well as the rest of Rick's group. But, Rick, his son and the widow do not get hurt. And, I'd like that fucking redneck alive too. I want to be the one to kill that son-of-a-bitch. Don't kill any kids or women if you don't have to, other than Rick's core group, I mean. Those are fair game. You, go figure out who's going to open the gates, and make sure they know the four people they can't touch. If Rick gets hurt there will be hell to pay. Make sure they understand that, specifically." Negan stated. 

He was back in control. First, this shit needed to be taken care of... then he and Rick could get the time together they needed to get back to where they had left off. Rick would just need a little bonding time, time for Negan to love all his hurt away... and he could begin his new life with the Saviors. That was where he belonged, where he should always have been. He certainly didn't belong with those other people... and Negan was going to make him understand this... and once they were all gone... that wouldn't be so hard, at all. Without all of his past around him, he'd be able to move on so much easier. And, they would build that perfect life together. There was no way it could not be perfect.  
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"Thank you again for everything you have done for me and my people." Rick said. "I should have spoke to you sooner, but it was hard for me to get past some of my own inner demons. But, I think I've gotten past that, now, for the most part, anyway. And, I want to be a productive member of this community." Rick paused, planting a kiss atop the soft curls of Judith's head, trying to calm the restless toddler. She hadn't started whining yet, but Rick knew she soon would. She was probably ready for a nap, and he was going to put her down soon, but he needed to have this conversation with Ezekiel. It had been due for a bit. "I also want to know if you are prepared for an attack by the Saviors." Rick continued. "They will be here, you can be sure of that. It's not my ego talking when I tell you that Negan is obsessed with me, and that he will do anything to have me, even if it means destroying a bunch of innocent lives in the process. I don't want your community destroyed because of me... so, if you want me to leave, I understand."

"Want you to leave? That's ridiculous. Why would I want you to leave? I offered you and your people a safe haven and I won't take that back. My people feel the same. And, we will fight if we have to. But, we will not turn you and yours away in your time of need. Tomorrow I will call my people together, and we, along with your group, will come up with a plan of defense. Your people will help us come up with that plan. That is how our community works. We share in the responsibilities and reap the rewards. I believe you are going to be a great asset to my community, Rick Grimes. I am glad you decided to return to reality. It may be a painful place, but there are a lot of good reasons to live in it too. It's not all bad. And, it's nice to see that you realize that now. Why don't you..." 

Rick never got to hear what Ezekiel was going to say. The man's head jerked to the side, and then he was falling off the bench he was sitting on. Then, Rick heard the sound of the gunshot. He clasped Judith close, head jerking around, wondering what in the hell was going on. Then, he heard screams, just as he noticed Simon. He was on his feet in an instant, trying to escape. 

But, Simon had seen him. In fact, it was his bullet that was lodged in Ezekiel's brain. He had come strait for Rick, knowing he was the most important person in this place. "Don't try to run, Rick." He yelled. "I don't want to hurt you, but I can't let you escape." His words gave Rick pause, and he continued in a loud voice "If I have to shoot, I'll do it. Might have to shoot you in the leg... won't kill you, but it will stop you... but if it causes you to fall, the baby might get hurt. Think of her, cowboy. Think of her welfare. Just give up. We have this place, already. All that's left is for all of you people to understand it." 

Rick realized he was trapped. He didn't know what was going to happen. He didn't want to go back to Negan... the thought of it almost made him physically ill, but he had to think of his people and all of the people at The Kingdom. He had to try to save them, and only he could do that. He knew he was the only person who could stop Negan. So, he turned around to face Simon, knowing it was over. His life was over, his dreams were over. That life he'd planned wasn't going to happen. The time he had wanted to explore his feelings for Daryl wasn't going to happen. And, in the matter of only minutes, his world had been turned upside down. 

"Ok. You win. I give up." Rick yelled. "Just don't hurt any more of these people." Rick stood still, waiting for Simon to walk up to him. "Where's Negan... ?" Rick barely got the words out of his mouth, when he saw the man come around the corner, and he started to tremble. He didn't know if he could do this. He wanted to run, run and hide, somewhere where this man could never find him. 

Negan wasn't a fool. Even from a distance, he could see the conflicting emotions on Rick's face... and the one thing he really hated was the fear he saw. Rick was afraid of him. He had never wanted to see that, not on Rick's face, not clouding those eyes; everybody else, yeah, but not Rick. He had seen the fear before, but it was for his people. No, Rick had never been afraid of him. Even when he'd been holding Rick prisoner, he'd only seen any fear once... on the night he'd made love to him, before he had made love to him... But, he had gotten Rick past that. And, he had never thought he'd see that fear again. It killed him that Rick was afraid of him now. 

"What's her name..." Negan asked quietly, as he walked up to the trembling man, pretending there was nothing going on around them, just the two of them... talking together. He wanted to calm Rick down, make him stop trembling, stop being afraid, just have him speak to him...

Rick's eyes jerked up, catching his, but quickly darting away, looking for an escape, as he held the baby tighter, too tight, causing her to whimper in protest. 

"Rick..." Negan tried again. 

Rick's eyes once more met his... and they were still so fucking beautiful... he'd never be able to see blue the same way again. But, Rick closed those eyes, and Negan wanted to step forward and pull him into his arms... but, then they opened again... and they were still the most beautiful blue Negan had ever seen, but the tears welling up in them were not. 

"...what... why...?" but Rick couldn't find the words, his mind stumbling with thoughts. 

"I asked her name, Rick." Negan said softly. 

"Judith... uh... Judith... her name is Judith... please..." Rick stuttered, trying to talk to the man. "Please... don't..." 

"...Oh... Rick... " Negan understood, but he couldn't believe it. "Rick, you know me better... You know... I'd never hurt her... even if she wasn't yours. I don't hurt children... Damn! How could you possibly think that? You know me. You know me..." 

"Carl..." Rick whispered. 

"I have never hurt Carl. Never... even that first night... when I was testing you... I would never have let it happen... I thought you knew that by now." Negan said. "Rick, I really thought we were past all that shit.The past is over. We are in the now. And, the now is you and me." 

"You...? Me...?" Rick shook his head. "Nooo... nooo... not..." 

"Rick... your little adventure is over. It's time to come back to me." Negan cut him off before he spiraled out of control. "Come on, Rick. Come with me now... someplace safe... for Judith..." 

Rick just stared at him for a minute, then gave a simple nod, before he dropped his head in defeat.

Negan didn't really want Rick defeated, just compliant, but he couldn't worry about that at the moment. Right now, he needed to get Rick and... Judith, to a safe area. He reached out to wrap an arm around Rick's back, but Rick jerked away from him as if he'd been burned. 

"Don't touch me." Rick cried. "Don't ever fucking touch me again!" 

"What the hell...!" Negan sputtered. "Why are you acting like this, Rick? I did more than just touch you the last time we were together!" 

"I said... don't touch me!" Rick rasped. "I'm only giving up so you don't hurt any more innocent people, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you put your hands on me." 

"It was only around your back, Rick. I didn't grab your ass or anything, didn't even put my hand on your waist. I was as casual as a friend." Negan growled. "How was I being out of line?" 

"I just said I don't want you to touch me." Rick snapped. It doesn't matter how you touch me, just don't. Haven't you touched me more than enough, anyway? Why is it so necessary to put your hands on me?" 

"Because I fucking love you, ok?" Negan hissed, before he could help himself. 

"But, I don't love you... don't even like you...." 

"You made love to me..." 

"No..." Rick gasped. "I never... it was sex... but I didn't want it. You made me... but never again. It is never going to happen again... " Rick's words came to an abrupt end, and he stopped walking. He had been walking as they argued, but now he stood still, in shock. 

Negan glanced ahead of them, seeing what had captured Rick's attention. Damn, damn damn! He hadn't wanted this. He hadn't wanted Rick to see this. He was going to tell him later, after he'd settled in to his life, when it wouldn't mean anything... or very little, anyway. But, now, it was right in his face, and in a most dramatic way. 

"M-Michonne..." Rick stuttered, unable to move. She lay there beside the bench, her awkward position giving it away, before Rick saw the blood, pooling under her head. "Nnnoooo..." he wailed. 

This time Negan did grab him "... the baby..." he nodded to Simon, who came forward, taking Judith from Rick's arms, before he was even aware of it. 

Judith let out a howl, finding herself in the arms of a man she didn't even know, one who had no idea how to deal with babies, looking as startled by her as she was by him. 

Rick let out another cry, as he lost Judith, fighting to get out of Negan's arms. "No! No, no, noooo...." he wailed, as Negan fought to hold on to him. 

Then, more of the Saviors showed up, one of them pulling Maggie along. She was sobbing, but when she saw Rick she started yelling, trying to get away from the man with a strong grip on her arm.

"L-Let me g-go, dammit. He's going to hurt himself..." Maggie gasped. "Rick... Rick..." Maggie tried to get Rick's attention. But, with Judith howling, and Rick wailing, as he fought to free himself from Negan, she couldn't be heard by the crazed man. "Please, let me help. I won't try to escape... please, he's about to go mad. His mind is pretty fragile already. He can't handle this. Please, let me help..." Maggie pleaded. 

"Fuck, let the bitch do something!" Simon snapped at the man holding Maggie's arm, before thrusting the howling baby into Maggie's arms, as he headed over to help his boss with the wildcat in his arms. Negan didn't seem to be faring too well, since he was trying not to hurt Rick, while Rick was not showing the same concern for his wellfare. 

Negan's nose as well as his lip was bleeding because Rick's fist had managed to make a connection with his face. And his hair was completely messed up, while he had a scratch that was seeping more blood along his neck. Simon heard an 'uumph' as Rick's elbow made another connection with Negan's ribs. Negan was certainly going to be feeling this later, Simon thought. 

Simon reached between the pair, grabbing one of Rick's arms, but before he could catch the other one, it found him, catching him across the face. He let out a curse, as his nose began to bleed. Now he and Negan would have matching faces. That really pissed him off, as his nose began to throb from the punch. And, he lost his temper. Before he could stop himself, his hand had lashed out, and he backhanded the wild man across the face. 

Rick hadn't been expecting the blow, and it knocked him backward, stunning him for a minute, enough to stop his wailing, as he stumbled right into Negan's shocked arms. Negan glared at Simon, and Simon knew he'd hear about it later, but he took advantage of the moment, grabbing a scarf off the table of linen and quickly binding Rick's arms behind his back, before he recovered his fight again. 

Now, Negan should be able to handle the fiery creature. Simon wheezed from the struggle. Rick sure was something. Damn! He hadn't realized Rick would lose it that way over the warrior princess. Hell, the widow had dealt with the gruesome death of her husband better than that. Whoever took out Rick's former lover had done it with a simple bullet to the head, not messy at all. Why was Rick being such a bitch about it? 

But, Simon understood better why Negan was so obsessed with the little wildcat. That was a lot of passion contained in that small frame. And, he felt the heat rise between his legs. The man must be thunder between the sheets. Boy, Negan was a lucky son-of-a-bitch. Simon had always been strictly a slit man, but he had just seem the appeal of the split, and if Negan hadn't already claimed Rick, he wouldn't have minded taking him for a spin, now that he knew just how high-octane his little motor was. But, Negan would kill him if he ever touched that shiny little hot rod. And, Simon was still interested in enjoying however many years he had left on this godforsaken shit-hole of a planet. So, taking a ride in Negan's sports car wasn't worth the loss of those few years. So, he'd stay as far from that temptation as possible. Maybe he'd even live to be an old man. 

Maggie took several breaths, trying to bring herself under control. She had to calm down for Judith's sake. The little girl was confused and terrified, and needed to be comforted, reassured that her world was going to be acceptable. With Michonne dead, she had basically lost the only mother she'd known. And, though she was used to having a lot of caregivers in her life, Michonne had been a constant from the time she was born. The little girl had never even met her real mother. And, Maggie hurt for this lost little girl, who had been given such a cruel introduction to this world.

And, Rick was losing it, and he didn't even know all of it yet. She knew the real tragedy... the fact that his whole group had been killed, except for herself and Carl, of course, and Daryl, who looked really rough, because the Saviors had beaten the hell out of the man. He'd been caught unaware and unarmed, having just been hanging out with her and Carl and Enid, shooting the shit, his crossbow laying on the ground nearby. He had been shot in the shoulder when he tried to retrieve it. 

Carl was a mess. The bastards had shot his girlfriend. And, Maggie had cared about all of those people too. They were also her family. Enid had practically been adopted by her and Glen. But, she knew Rick took it even deeper than she did, feeling the life of every one of those people was his responsibility, while Maggie knew that wasn't the case. 

Maggie finally got herself calm enough that she was able to soothe the poor little girl in her arms, and watched Simon help Negan get Rick under control, or at least manageable, though that was debatable, in Maggie's opinion. She watched Negan trying to calm Rick down, and not having any success. But, he was being stupid, not letting Rick go, continuing to hold onto him, trying to embrace him, confort him, as he would a lover. Rick was by no means Negan's lover and never would be. 

Maggie looked away. She couldn't watch any longer. She couldn't help Rick, and she had a little girl to comfort right now. She had been separated from Carl, and the Saviors had beaten Daryl down before tying him up and dragging him off. She was sure Negan meant to kill Daryl personally. He had a special beef with Daryl, as Daryl had been the one who beat the hell out of him and rescued Rick. She was sure Negan wanted payback for that, plus he was probably in a jealous rage, thinking of Daryl being with Rick, though she was sure he didn't know just how close Rick and Daryl were now. If he had thought Rick was upset over Michonne, he hadn't dealt with Rick over Daryl yet. But, if he killed Daryl, Rick might never recover. Daryl meant more to Rick than anyone, other than his kids, that is. But, she wasn't going to concern herself about that at this moment, concentrating on the little girl in her arms. 

Negan held the struggling little wildcat, that was his lover, though Rick seemed to have forgotten that at the moment. He only wanted to confort him, but Rick wasn't having any of it. He had a grip in Rick's curls, trying to hold his head still, so he could kiss him, but Rick was pulling back from him so hard he was hurting Negan's hand, and also keeping Negan's mouth away from his own. 

Negan couldn't believe how hard it was to simply kiss the man. And, Rick was sobbing now, even as he continued to struggle, jerking his head aside to keep Negan from landing a kiss. Finally, Negan had to give up. He wasn't going to ask for help to get a kiss from his lover. This place was too chaotic. He had decided he was going to take his lover and the other four, including the baby back to The Sanctuary, for now. He'd leave a group of men here to contain and control this place. Maybe later, they could make it their home. But he had a cell for that redneck... until he killed the son-of-a-bitch, that is, at the Sanctuary. And, Rick needed familiar surroundings, to adjust. Once he got Rick settled, he could concentrate on moving his community to the Kingdom. 

So, Negan drug Rick away, leaving Simon to deal with all the other details. Simon had the man who'd brought Maggie here take control of her, letting her keep Rick's baby, since the little one had fallen asleep in her arms. Negan could deal with that shit later. That would be his problem. He would deal with assigning some men to this community, which the people called The Kingdom. Negan could deal with the prisoners as he saw fit. Simon was going to stay out of that personal shit.

And, right now, there were a bunch of dead bodies to take care of, and this community could deal with that labor themselves, no need for him or any of his men to put out any manual labor over those pieces of shit. 

Simon set about his job, checking out the group of people who would be the new slave labor for The Sanctuary. He was surprised to find that Eugene was in the group, and hadn't been killed. He wasn't totally unhappy about that. He had nothing against the dorky brainiac, not minding that he was an absolute coward either. That just meant that he was not a problem... and he was smart enough to be useful. Simon decided he'd spare the chunky one. He wasn't happy to see that girl was dead. She had just been a kid, and Negan wouldn't like that. She was the only kid they'd killed though. So, maybe Negan wouldn't be too pissed. 

The biggest shock for Simon though was the body of a fucking tiger. His men said the huge cat had attacked them, one of the men was dead and another had to be put down because of his wounds. So, the big cat had been taken out. That was too bad. Negan would have loved having a fucking pet tiger. That would have been something he'd think was really kick-ass cool. Oh, well. There was a huge teddy-bear of a man who now cradled the dead animal's head on his lap. One of his men told him that the man was named Jerry and he had been the King's second. Well, the big man would be given the task of burying the big cat, as well as his former leader. Simon decided he was going to put Eugene in charge of this place, under one of the Saviors of course. The man was smart enough to run this place and keep it thriving, if Negan wanted to make it his permanent home. Simon knew he wouldn't mind living here. It sure beat the hell out of the Sanctuary. But, that would be Negan's choice. And, once he had everything set in place, Simon headed back to the Sanctuary to confer with Negan. 


	5. Flames of Hell

Negan wasn't about to leave Rick in the care of anyone else, and took the recalcitrant man to their room himself. Rick had managed to finally get over his emotional breakdown and was now giving him the silent treatment, though he still managed to put up a struggle when Negan started to take him to their room. And, Negan was reduced to having to literally drag him through the door. Thankfully, Negan had already put pretty much everything else in place, so he didn't have to direct his men on what to do with the fucking redneck, or Rick's son, Carl. Daryl was getting thrown into his old cell and Carl was going into one close by... one with a few considerations Daryl's didn't have. 

Carl would have a bed, which had been moved out of Daryl's cell, Negan having given Carl the bed when he'd taken over Daryl's old cell. The bed would go with Carl. The new one was actually an upgrade... as in it also had a toilet. Negan wasn't going to make the boy use a bucket anymore. That had only been during his initiation period. He had meant to move him before... but he had been 'rescued' along with his father and the other detainees... Negan refused to call them prisoners. He didn't consider Rick a prisoner. Rick was his lover... and he would be again... as soon as he calmed his ass down and accpted the truth. 

Negan had no intention of giving the redneck any comforts for his short stay in his former cell. He was going to die soon enough anyway, as soon as Negan decided how he wanted to take him out.That fucker was going to pay for ever putting his hands on him... but more than that, he was going to pay for trying to take Rick away from him. That was a crime Negan could never forgive. He could understand the escaping part, even if it had pissed him off. He might have even let the son-of-a-bitch have his freedom... not really worried about hunting him down. But, the dog just had to come back and steal what belonged to him... something too precious to lose. He had tried to steal Rick, and that crime held a death sentence. So, the redneck's life was forfeit. 

Maggie was taken back to be with Negan's wives again. And since she had the baby, Judith, with her, Negan's men took the two there as a pair. Negan would have to figure that out later. They hadn't known there would be a baby, so no arrangements had been made for her. One of the men was considerate enough to ask Maggie if there was anything he could get her for the little one though, and she asked if he could get something for the little girl to eat and drink, and if there were any diapers at the Sanctuary. The man said there were no diapers but he could find something for the baby to eat and drink. Maggie was grateful and thanked him for Judith. Judith was still asleep, but she didn't think it would last much longer and she felt something to eat and drink might calm the little girl when she woke in this strange place. 

Negan drug Rick into the room, pulling him over to the couch, and forcing him to sit down on it. He didn't dare take Rick to the bed, afraid of the reaction he'd get if he did, sure Rick would think he wanted sex, and react in a highly undesirable manner; not that he was acting favorably anyway... but Negan didn't want a total meltdown. He pulled his jacket off and tossed it onto the chair, before he strode over to the side table and grabbed the bottle of whiskey sitting there, pouring himself a generous amount into the glass sitting beside it. He needed a drink, right now. Getting Rick back hadn't been the joyous reunion he'd imagined. Rick had decided to be a total ass, having lost all his civility while he'd been away. Negan would have to get him straitened out again. But, that was for later. Right now, he needed to be gentle with him. He had just suffered a great loss, after all, with the death of all his former friends. Negan took a large swallow of the amber liquid, feeling it's burn all the way down to his stomach, before it settled into a nice conforting warmth there. Then, he walked back over to sit in the recliner across from Rick. 

"I'm sorry, baby." he spoke softly to Rick. "I never wanted to put you through this." Negan paused for another sip of the whiskey. "All those people were warned at the beginning, though," he continued. "I only let them live in the first place because of you. But, they took you away from me. I couldn't forgive that. I almost lost you. That could not be allowed. They had to pay for that. But, I didn't kill the boy... or Maggie, or... your baby. 'Our' baby, now... darling." 

"You're a monster..." Rick turned to face Negan. "A fucking monster..." 

"Well, now, baby," Negan gave a lopsided grin, one without any amusement, "I never claimed I was a saint. But you..." Negan gestured with his glass of whiskey, "you aren't an angel either... even if you do look like one. You have as much blood on your hands as I do, sweetheart." Negan paused for another sip of the amber fire. "And, I was kinder than I had to be to the rest of your people. I didn't torture any of them. They were given a quick death. Aaannnd... now, you can finally let go of the past and move on. There's nothing left to drag you down..." 

"Is that what you think? Do you just expect me to move on... just forget...?" Rick cried. "You killed my family... I have nothing..." Rick turned away. "You might as well have killed me, too." 

"Don't be so melodramatic, Rick." Negan snorted. "I told you I didn't kill your family... the boy is still alive, and so is the beautiful little girl that you kept a secret from me. That is your real family. Those other people weren't family, darling. You may have been close to them, but they weren't real family... weren't blood. And, you don't need them. They can be replaced. You have me now and I will be all you'll ever need. We will raise that beautiful little girl together. That is your future... our future..." 

"You don't get it, do you?" Rick snapped, his head whipping back to face Negan. "You think that by killing all of my people you could have me for yourself. But, you are a fool. Taking them away did the opposite of what you want. Now you have nothing to use against me... nothing to threaten me with... you lost all your leverage. How the fuck do you think you can make me do anything, now?" Rick let out a laugh, one that sounded cold and a little crazy. "You lose, you sick bastard. You will never have me again. You will never touch me again! Hope you enjoy the memories because that's all you will ever have. We are not going to be together. You are going to be alone. So, just go fuck yourself. You already have, anyway." Rick turned away again. 

Negan tossed the last of the whiskey back, before speaking. "Deny all you want, baby. You can lie to yourself if you want, but I know better. You have feelings for me. I know you do. I've been inside you so deep I could feel your heart beating. And I fucked you so damn good you begged for my touch... and it was my name that fell from your lips when it was over. And, if you try to say you never felt anything, you are a liar, beautiful..." Negan growled, huskily. "And, if you think you won't enjoy it again, you are the fool. And, whether you like it or not, you want me. And, I will never let you forget how much you want me. Because... underneath everything... you and I are alike. That's why we were meant to be together..." 

"We are nothing alike..." Rick cried. "And, I don't want anything to do with a monster like you." 

"Keep telling yourself that when I have my dick buried in you again. Tell yourself that when you're begging me for more. And, let that thought run through your mind when you scream my name as you cum." Negan said. "And, deny what you feel, when I hold you in my arms afterward, when I kiss you, and... when you kiss me. Tell yourself you don't want me, then... or that you won't want me every time after. We are destiny, baby. You are mine, now... and forever." Negan finished. 

He waited, but Rick had no comeback. Negan got up and walked back over to the side table to replace the glass. 

"You can lay down on that couch and get some sleep if you want. And, no, I'm not gonna untie you, not for a while, yet. I've got some shit to take care of, so you might as well rest. I'll be back later. Try not to miss me too much while I'm gone." Negan grinned, grabbing his jacket as he headed for the door, leaving Rick there to brood. 

After Negan left, Rick slumped against the side of the couch and let the tears flow freely... hating Negan, but hating himself even more. Because, no matter how he denied it to Negan, he really couldn't lie to himself. He remembered the feel of Negan's touches, the fullness of Negan inside him, remembered the pain, and the pleasure coursing through his body... until it consumed him. And, he knew why he could never call it rape... not when he burned for the feeling again... burned for the touch of his enemy. 

But, Negan was wrong if he thought Rick cared about him. Of that Rick was definitely now certain. His body might crave that vile bastard's touch, but Rick knew the meaning of true hatred, a hatred so black it coated his soul like a gloss of hot tar, burning deep into his very core. And that was his hatred for Negan. He hated the man more than he had ever hated anyone in his life. And, no matter how long it took, he was going to kill the bastard. It was the only reason he would not kill himself. He had to kill the bastard before he died. He had to pay the tribute owed for all the lives he had cost.  
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Simon finally had everything under control at the kingdom. The dead had been buried. There weren't really a lot of dead, most had been Rick's former group; Michonne, Tara, Aaron, and Enid, a mistake as far as Simon was concerned and knew Negan would feel the same. Negan didn't want to kill kids like that girl. Simon didn't know what had become of Negan's former wife, Sherry. She wasn't one of the casualties. She must have escaped somehow. Simon didn't really care, though he knew Negan would. She was considered a traitor by him, and he wanted her eliminated. 

The so-called 'King' had also been a casualty, by his own gun, in fact. And, the trio that had helped to aid in Rick's rescue had also been taken out... Rhichard, Jax, and the Jesus freak who had actually come from the Hilltop. Killing Jax hadn't been on Negan's priority list, as he'd been interested in replacing Eugene with him. But, maybe he'd be ok with the chubby guy being alive, after all. He knew Negan really hadn't had anything against the dorky brainiac, and Simon actually liked the guy. He had been really helpful while he was at the Santuary. So, Simon felt confortable with putting Eugene in control of the Kingdom, under a Savior, of course... and Eli had been chosen for that detail. Simon had also sent some people to the Hilltop, to put that place in order, though it wasn't going to be that difficult. That place was a rudderless ship without the Jesus freak to guide them, and they would fall in like sheep. 

Simon made one last check, before he headed back to the Sanctuary. He had picked up some things he knew would be needed at the Sanctuary, including a supply of diapers for the newly acquired baby of Rick's. He knew Negan hadn't thought of that when he'd been concentrating on getting his 'boyfriend' back. Simon shook his head. Negan could be the most ruthless man he'd ever met, except when it came to that blue-eyed beauty. When it concerned Rick, Negan was a fool with cotton candy for brains. Simon would admit the man was one hot piece of ass... and easy as fuck on the eyes, but it was also obvious just how much hatred the man had for Negan and the saviors. Negan should have kept a check on his goddamn heart and not fell in love with the tempestuous beauty. Fucking him was one thing, but love? That was a one-way street that only led to misery with that particular little spitfire... one Simon was too smart to travel down. But, he hadn't been able to stop that trainwreck for his boss... and just stayed around to pick up the peices. 

"Ok." Simon thumped the side of the truck to signal he was ready to leave. "Let's head back home. This shit has been contained. The driver started the truck and a trail of dust was left in their wake.  
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Negan headed off to his wives' room, not to see them, but because Maggie was there, with Rick's adorable baby girl. And, he wanted to see the little one, get acquainted with his new daughter. He had a feeling the little one would be the key to winning Rick back, and he was looking forward to having his family. Maggie was sitting on the couch, the beautiful little blond in her arms, while Negan's wives gathered around her, transfixed by the baby. And, the little angel was all wide-eyed and curious, not afraid at all. She was just like her father, Negan thought, watching her curly head glancing from one wife to another, as they oohed and aahed over her. Maggie sat their stoically, not smiling, but keeping her emotions in check for the sake of Rick's child. 

She watched Negan approach, without a frown marring her pretty face, though her eyes were telling Negan exactly what she thought of him. Negan watched his wives back off as he approached. But, they didn't speak either. He knew they were aware of what their place was. 

Negan held out his hands for his daughter, and Maggie's arms tightened around her posessively. 

"Maggie... you know I'm not going to hurt her... " Negan sighed. "I just want to get acquainted with my new daughter." 

Maggie's control slipped, then. "She's not yours..." she hissed, causing the little girl to look at her with a frown. 

"Don't upset my child, Maggie. No matter how you feel, Rick is mine... and he will be mine forever, and what is his belongs to me, thus... Judith... belongs to me." Negan's voice was soft, but icy. "Now, let me have my daughter.!" 

"...she doesn't know you..." Maggie whispered. "Please..." 

"Don't make me ask again..." Negan hissed. 

Maggie reluctantly loosened her grip on the little girl, letting Negan reach forward and take Judith from her arms, letting out a muffled sob, as the man turned away from her with the adorable toddler. 

Negan ignored the distraught woman, walking away from her as he cooed at the blonde in his arms. Judith looked at him with huge blue eyes... so like her father's; not sure what to think of him. But, she was more curious than afraid. Then a frown drew her eyebrows downward and her lips scrunched up in an unhappy pout, and she reached up with one little fist and bopped him in the nose. 

"Baaad.." she warbled, shocking Negan as much as the hit had, which had actually smarted. 

Negan burst into laughter though. She was going to be a little spitfire just like her daddy. What she had just done reminded him so much of Rick, such a fighter. She wouldn't come easy any more than Rick would. They were going to be the perfect family. 

"Ah, angel... that was not very nice..." Negan chuckled. "You just clunked your old man in the nose. Maybe... you would like to see daddy. Would that help, huh? Maybe that would put you in a better mood. Might put him in one too... what do you think, angel? You want to see daddy?" 

"Where is Rick?" Maggie cried out, before Negan left the room, causing him to turn back toward her. 

"That really doesn't concern you, Maggie. Rick is with me, now, where he belongs. You are not a part of his life anymore. I've cut all of you people out of his life so he can adjust better. You're lucky to even be alive... so you shouldn't worry about Rick. You will have your own child to worry about in the future, so there's no need to stay attached to my child. She will have plenty of people to help Rick and I with her care, so you need not be concerned. Just make the best of your life here... or you may not be around to take care of your own child..." 

Negan left Maggie trembling with the threat, as he continued to coo at Judith, taking her out of the room... and away from Maggie forever. 

Negan had no intention of letting Maggie be a part of his and Rick's daughter's life, any more than he intended Rick to have any interaction with that woman. The only reason she was even still alive was because she was pregnant. After she had the baby, he intended to put her to work... if he let her live that is. Right now, her attitude was pissing him off. So, she had better get with the fucking program... or else... that baby just might grow up with a new mother. 

"Come on, Angel, let your old man show you around your new home, huh. Let you see how wonderful this place is... then I'll take you to see your daddy. He should be in a better mood then... and if he isn't maybe you can work your magic on him, and get rid of all his grumpies." ☆☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ 

By the time Negan had finished showing his new daughter around the Santuary, a couple hours had passed. He had stopped by the kitchen and found some animal crackers... which were a little stale, but seemed to satisfy the little angel in his arms. She had grown quite content in his arms, nibbling on the crackers and taking in everything around her with a wide-eyed curiosity. She was burbling happily now, though he realized that he had forgotten a most important item when he took her from the Kingdom... and he could tell he needed it now, even if she wasn't being fussy about it yet. He hadn't even thought about it though, at the time. But, the sweet little girl was in need of a diaper change. It was apparent to him she was wet, even though there was no odor to alert him of anything more serious than that. She was probably of an age to be potty trained soon, anyway. Rick would have the time to accomplish that goal now.

He opened the door to their bedroom softly, not wanting to wake Rick if he had fallen asleep. He would have to find a crib for their little angel, because she wouldn't be sleeping with her parents... in fact, a nursery would be a good idea... one close by, but a little bit of privacy. Negan knew he and Rick could be a little vocal when they made love, and didn't want the little one frightened by the unexpected noises in the night. He certainly liked Rick being vocal, but it might not be something for a baby to be around. 

Negan entered the room quietly, looking over at the sofa, at the figure slumped against the arm of the it, sound asleep.

"Dammit, beautiful, why are you so damned stubborn?" he whispered. 

Rick hadn't even bothered to lie down, and was sleeping in a most unconfortable position. He was sure to be sore from sleeping like that. Negan would have to wake him he supposed, if only to make him go to bed and lie down. Besides, he had promised Judith she could see her daddy. And, as much as he hated to wake the obviously exhausted man, he really had no choice. 

"Rick... hey darling, wake up. Someone here to see you." Negan's voice cut through the quiet, causing Rick to jerk awake. 

He sat up quickly, a little disoriented, shaking his head to clear it of the sleep, slowly remembering where he was, his eyes coming to rest on Negan, widening at the sight of Judith in his arms. 

"Hey, baby. I brought our daughter to see you. Thought you two might be missing each other. See how thoughtful I am? You want me to untie you, now, so you can hold this little angel?" Negan smiled at Rick.


	6. Dying Embers

Rick stared at Judith in Negan's arms, hating the sight, but knowing there was nothing he could do about it. He gave himself a minute to get his rage under control, before he replied to Negan's question. He didn't even bother to look at Negan, as he spoke... keeping his eyes glued to the tiny blonde in his arms.

"...do whatever you want... I really don't care. You already took everything else away from me. It doesn't surprise me that you want to take the last drops of my blood too." Rick replied wearily. 

"...What?" Negan was truly confused by Rick now. "I'm not trying to take your family, Rick. All I want to do is share it with you. This precious angel is ours now. We will be raising her together." Negan huffed. "I just wanted to bring her to see you. I was trying to be nice." 

"...nice... yeah, right." Rick snorted. "Because you are such a nice person, aren't you?" 

Negan heard the sarcasm literally dripping from Rick's words and it was hard not to be hurt by them... because he felt that he was being nice, damn nice, under the circumstances. He hadn't punished Rick at all for running away from him... had taken special consideration for his son, Carl, and taken excellent care of the baby. He didn't understand his lover's attitude at all. What more could he do to prove his love for the man? 

"I don't appreciate your attitude, darling." Negan tried to control his anger. "I think you owe me an apology for saying that shit. I have been wonderful to you. I've done everything I could to make you happy. And... if that's not nice, I don't know what the hell is!" 

"Only you would think kidnapping someone and keeping them prisoner is nice!" Rick hissed. "Everything you have done is to make you happy... not me. If you were concerned about my happiness, you would have left me alone. I was happy before I met you. And... after I escaped from the nightmare, I had the chance to be happy again. But, you would not allow that. Because all you are really concerned about is yourself and what you want. And, you will destroy anyone to get it, you selfish bastard!" 

Rick's words grew more venomous. "You need to get it through your head that we are never ever going to be together. I don't want you. And, I don't love you. I HATE YOU!!! You are holding me against my will... keeping me prisoner... trying to force me into a relationship... But, it isn't going to work... And, if you think you can use my own child against me, you are wrong. Nothing will change my mind... not even the threat of taking her away from me. I won't sell my soul to you for her sake." 

Rick's voice softened, as if he'd just run out of steam, "So... you can just take Judith away now. Let Maggie raise her if you want. She is still young enough to forget who I am. It would be better for her anyway. Because... I'd rather be dead than be with you..." Rick ended.

"Ok... Rick." Negan said softly. "I will take this little angel away... for now. I can see you are not good company for her. But, it is your loss. I will come back later." 

Negan knew he wasn't going to get through to Rick at the present time and decided to go see if he could set up something for Judith. He wasn't giving up on Rick... just giving him some more time. He had no intention of ever giving up on Rick. You just didn't do that when you loved someone.

Rick couldn't help the wince as he heard the click of the door shutting, softly... and he held it in for a minute longer... before he broke down in sobs. 

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Negan made his way downstairs, wandering around the marketplace, distracted, not knowing what to do now. Finally, Judith's whining got through to him, and he remembered she had a wet diaper and was probably irritated because of it. He headed off in the direction of the laundry. Surely, he could find something to make a makeshift diaper there... anything that would give her a dry bottom. Rick was going to need to start toilet training her soon. Negan returned to the marketplace a little later. He was carrying a towel, which was well worn and soft. It would make a nice diaper, but he hadn't a clue how to fashion it into the proper shape. 

"The little one is a bit fussy, sir." Gladys said. She was one of the clerks who sold goods for points at the marketplace. She didn't normally have much contact with Negan, but hadn't believed him to be a bad leader for the Sanctuary. And, as she had noticed the whining baby, she decided to speak to the man.

Gladys knew the baby belonged to Rick, the same man Negan had kept here not so long ago... the one he was so besotted with. Gladys understood the attraction. That Rick sure was a looker. The baby was a surprise... didn't know she had existed. But, she looked like a little angel. And, now, Negan had Rick back... even if it seemed a bit complicated... She wasn't going to get involved in that. A bit of conversation with the boss was ok though. 

"...um, yeah. She is a little cranky." Negan mumbled. "That's why I went to the laundry. This little one has a wet diaper and she's irritated. I found this towel..." Negan held out the item, "... was gonna make a diaper out of it for her... but, I..." Negan frowned at the towel. "To be honest... I don't have a clue how to go about making a diaper out of this..." 

"men..." Gladys chuckled. "I might be able to help you out there. It's not really difficult to make a diaper. Why don't you let me help?" 

"...well, if you wouldn't mind..." Negan gave her a grateful smile. 

"Wouldn't mind at all. Let me see if I can find something..." Gladys went over to one of the tables, to rummage around. Coming back with a large safety pin. "I'm sure this will work fine." Gladys said. "Let's just lay her down on the table and get her changed... should only take a minute." 

Negan handed the towel to Gladys as he laid Judith down on a bare spot on the table. Gladys had the towel folded into a triangle shape and fastened onto the toddler in nothing flat, and was snuggling the little girl close, enjoying the baby smell for a moment. It had been a few years since she'd held a baby and she was enjoying the feel of a baby in her arms again. 

"Sorry, sir..." She handed Judith back to Negan, apologetically. "It's just that I've missed holding a little one... lost my children in the beginning, from the fevers... just before the dead took over the earth. Just missed having little ones. Nice to have a baby around again." 

"Thank you." Negan held Judith close, letting her snuggle into his chest. Now that she was dry, she was no longer irritated and was being a little angel again. "I'm going to go check on finding some things for my new daughter. Thanks again for all your help." Negan headed off. 

Gladys smiled, thinking about what a nice man Negan was, and how generous. He was going to be taking care of Rick's little girl like she was his very own. That was one lucky little girl.

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The sun was long down when Simon returned to the Sanctuary. He couldn't say he was surprised that Negan was still up. He wasn't even surprised that Negan was waiting for his return... though he was sure Negan hadn't intended to be doing so. Negan must have thought he would be with Rick, but Simon knew Rick wasn't going to be happy to be back with Negan. Negan was a little delusional when it came to the Alexandrian. Simon had a much more logical mind, and a firm grip on reality.

"Where's the little one, boss?" Simon asked Negan, as he approached him, noticing the absence of Rick's baby. "Did you leave her with Rick?" 

"Fuck no I didn't leave her with Rick." Negan huffed. "Rick is acting like a wet blanket, raining on everybody's parade, including his own. He acts like I'm the devil incarnate, just because a few of his people were killed. He doesn't seem to think people should suffer the consequences of their actions. Those people were given fair warning. Hell, they were lucky to even be alive before. I only did it for him. But, he wasn't the least bit grateful that I gave them quick deaths instead of the beatings they deserved. I could have used Lucille on the whole lot of them, but I didn't." 

"And, he's still being an ass." Negan continued. "Didn't even want to spend time with his adorable daughter. Said I could let Maggie raise her. As if that shit would ever fly. He wants that little girl to forget him. Said he'd rather be dead than be with me. Can you believe that shit? Why? Why is he acting this fucking way? We were together... We made love... Now, he won't let me touch him. What the fuck went wrong while he was gone?" 

Negan looked at Simon like he had the answers. Simon had the answers alright... but not the ones Negan wanted to hear. And, he sure as hell wasn't stupid enough to tell Negan the truth. Negan didn't deal well with any truth that was negative. He wanted a fairy tale with Rick and wasn't about to accept anything else. Simon had to work a miracle... and he wasn't sure he was up to the task. 

Maybe a little truth mixed with some lies was the way to go, "... he's probably a little traumatized..." Simon suggested. "Maybe, if he hadn't come up on the body of his former lover... freshly dead... like that, he might have dealt with it better... Just knowing someone is dead is one thing, but to have it right up in your face is totally different. How about I go talk to him... try to get through to him. He might be more willing to listen to someone he's not so close to as he was to you..." Simon finished.

"I don't want to hurt him." Negan snorted. "I have never wanted that..." 

I know that, boss." Simon placated. "But, Rick might not understand that. You did... force him to stay here before. He was technically a prisoner..." 

"He was never a prisoner..." Negan interrupted. "He was my guest... I was trying to protect him, that's all..." 

Simon found it difficult to keep a straight face at that comment. How the hell did Negan even convince himself of the bullshit he was spouting. The only thing Negan was trying to protect was Rick's hot little ass... so nobody else got a peice of it. Negan had wanted Rick all for himself and had taken him prisoner to ensure he got him. 

But, Simon needed to have a chat with that hot headed beauty... make sure he played nice with the boss, because The Sanctuary needed the bastard to have a level head... not distracted by a pouty piece of ass, no matter how pretty or hot it was. Rick might be pretty as fuck, and just about the hottest ass around... but he sure as hell wasn't worth all the damn drama he caused with Negan. If Negan would stop confusing his dick and his heart, it would be so much easier. 

"Just let me have a chat with him. I won't hurt him. I know how you feel about him. I just want to make him understand how things are." Simon said. "Oh, and I brought some diapers from the Kingdom. Thought the baby might need em." 

"Thank god someone was thinking. I never even thought about the necessities for a baby." Negan sighed. "I'll go take them to Gladys. She's taking care of Judith right now. Told her to take some time away from the marketplace... since she seemed so taken with the little one and was real helpful with her. The girls wanted her... but I didn't want her around Maggie. Probably have to make some different arrangements for that woman. Don't know what to do with her though... with her being pregnant and all..." Negan trailed off. 

"Probably best where she is right now." Simon replied. Don't think she'll try anything stupid, under the circumstances... um... about Rick?"

"...uh... yeah... ok... maybe he will listen to you... but take it easy... I don't want him hurt... just try to talk to him... ok...?" Negan mumbled. "I'm gonna take these diapers up for Judith... then I think I'll check on the kid. This must have been rough on him too. Michonne was like a second mom to him. But... he is gonna have to toughen up, anyway, if he's gonna be one of my soldiers. Hell, I think he'll be fine in a few days. I'll see you later. Let me know how your talk goes with Rick... if he understands...?"  


Simon didn't say anything, keeping his thoughts to himself. He wasn't going to inform Negan that Carl's little girlfriend had been killed. He'd let the kid spring it on him. And, as for Rick... he was going to understand, alright. Simon certainly had some things to say to him... maybe some threats that would straiten his hot little ass right out. If Negan wanted to play house... by god, Rick was going to fucking play house with him. Simon was going to give Rick a damn wake-up call... let him know just how bad it could be for him if Negan wasn't calling the shots, let him know how nice he had it. And, Negan didn't have to know anything about those threats. But, when he finished his little chat with Mr Hot Pantz, he would have a whole different attitude. Simon would make sure of that.  
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Sherry had waited until it was dark enough before she snuck into the Sanctuary. She had hitched a ride in the back of Simon's truck when he left the Kingdom. He had never knew she was there, as she stayed under the tarp. Just before they got to the Sanctuary, when the truck had slowed down to almost a crawl, she'd slipped over the tailgate, and rushed into some bushes along the roadside, sure no one had seen her, and just hunkered down to wait.  
That tenacious half-wild creature was the only hope she had of saving Rick. He'd managed to do it before, and she knew he'd find a way again... even if she didn't know how. She just had that much trust in the redneck warrior. And, she knew his hate for Negan alone would take him a long way. Before she headed for his cell, she stopped by the infirmary, where nobody was at this time, and picked up a few things she'd need. She knew Daryl had been hurt pretty bad and he'd need a little help, so she would be prepared.  


Sherry had never let Negan know she had any medical experience. It hadn't been one of his requirements for her anyway. She had been dealing with her sister's diabetes... and she'd helped other members of her family before coming to the Sanctuary. But, she had hid the fact she had been going through nursing school before the world was fucked. Dwight had kept her secret too. Now, that knowledge was finally going to be useful.  
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Simon made his way into Negan's room. It wasn't familiar to him. He knew where it was, but it wasn't a place he'd been to often. Negan didn't hold meetings in his bedroom, and Simon wasn't one of his security gaurds. He was too important for that shit... unlike Dwight, who'd been on the Security detail when that redneck escaped... though not at the time of the escape. He'd dodged the responsibility for that fiasco. But, he had still died when the same redneck had come to the rescue of one Rick Grimes.

Well, that wouldn't be happening again. And, Negan would be taking care of that peice of shit tomorrow.... as soon as he got his head strait again.... which is what Simon was going to take care of right now... by getting Rick with the program. Negan didn't want to hurt the little prick, but Simon didn't have the same feelings for him... though he had to be careful not to leave any evidence of his damage to Negan's property. But, he had no intention of going easy on Rick. Rick didn't respond to that. He needed to be threatened, and Simon knew how to do that. 

Rick was slumped over on the couch, asleep. Simon walked over to him, reaching down to pull him up strait, slapping his face a couple times to wake his ass up... maybe a little harder than necessary, but not hard enough to bruise. Rick roused himself enough to sit up, and once he saw Simon, he centered that Grimes glare at him. That had no effect on Simon, and he gave an amused chuckle. 

"You think that look is shit, Rick. What the fuck is it supposed to do, scare me?" Simon snorted. You ain't gonna do anything. You can't do anything. You are just Negan's little bitch... and you are lucky for that. But, you want to piss on the parade, don't you?" 

"What the hell are you talking about?" Rick growled. 

"I'm talking about you, Rick. Weren't you listening. I came up here to give you a warning. There won't be another one if you ignore this one. This is a one time thing. After that... well... that's all on you." Simon grinned, reaching down, to grab Rick by the hair, dragging him to his feet and hauling him over to the bed, shoving him down on it roughly, before Rick even knew what had happened. 

"What do you think you're doing?" Rick gasped, as Simon's body came down on his, and he squirmed helplessly under the larger man. 

"I think I'm doing anything I fucking want... and there's nothing you can do to stop me." Simon hissed into his face. 

"Negan... " Rick started, only to be interrupted with a sharp slap to the face. 

"What the fuck about Negan, Rick? Are you concerned about him, now. You should be. Because he is the only thing standing between you and hell." Simon said. 

"If you want to fucking kill me, go ahead." Rick retorted. "I wish the hell you would." 

Simon gave Rick another little slap, rather soft this time. "Ohh, Rick... I'm not gonna kill you. That's not the hell I'm talking about." At that point, Simon ground his hips down into Rick, letting him feel his arousal, causing those beautiful blues to widen in shock, and Simon to grin even wider. "Feel that, Rick. Think about what it could feel like... inside you... in your ass or your mouth..." Simon smirked. "And, think of how many more there could be. Think of how many men there are at the Sanctuary... that's how many there could be, bitch. Negan is the only thing standing between you and that." 

Simon paused, waiting... watching the blood drain from Rick's face... then he dug the knife in even deeper. "That's right, bitch. Negan is protecting you... and your damn son, as well as the pregnant cunt. You want him dead... think that would solve your problem, even if you died... But, that's just it, Rick. That man is the only thing controlling this mob. And, if he wasn't... well just think who could be in control. Not me... no. I don't want the fucking headache... but I could reap the benefits," 

Simon ground his erection into Rick's groin, eliciting a painful cry. "I would certainly take my share," he chuckled. I'm talking about gang rape, Rick. You see, you are just way to fucking pretty... and have such a hot little body... that's not a good thing in this world. You are just as susceptible as a pretty girl... even more so, because you are a rare commodity. Nobody here wants you dead, Rick... at least not anytime soon... until they have used you up... you know..." 

Simon continued to grind on Rick, his breath quickening, in his arousal. Rick wasn't struggling under him any longer, his gorgeous eyes wide in understanding, now. Finally, Simon had gotten through to him. He thrust his hips hard, enjoying the look of pain that flashed in those eyes, though Rick managed not to cry out again. 

Simon lifted himself off Rick... he had to... he was too aroused. He unfastened his jeans, freeing his hard cock, letting it spring free of it's confines, pulling his hankerchief from his pocket, staring Rick in the eye as he did so, grinning as he stroked himself hard, watching the horror in Rick's eyes... then his hips jerking as he come all over his hand. He stoked out the last few drops then wiped his hand clean with the kerchief, before stuffing it back into his pocket. He walked back over to the bed, reaching down to jerk Rick back up by the hair, shoving his face down against his groin, rubbing his moist cock against Rick's lips, as Rick struggled against him. He enjoyed it for a second, before shoving the hot brunette back, and tucking himself away, zipping up, laughing at Rick's angry sputtering. 

"That's right, pretty boy. You understand, now." Simon snorted. "You need to straiten your shit out. Get with the fucking program. Because, your attitude is messing with Negan's head. And, if his head ain't in the game, shit hits the fan. There could be a mutiny if they think he's weak. That would be disastrous for you and your hot little ass. But, you need to consider that boy of yours too and that pregnant girl. Now, I know they aren't as hot a piece as you, but they are useable... if you get my drift... They'd fuck that baby out of the bitch, and the kid... well... let's just say he wouldn't last long, before they killed him. But... you, Rick... they would keep you alive for some time. You are a prize... and you are Negan's bitch, which makes you even more valuable." 

Simon made his way to the bathroom and washed his hands, before he came back to finish his conversation with a totally subdued Rick. 

"I think you have got it, now. So, you need to play nice with Negan. Make him happy. Because, if you don't... my next visit won't be so nice... and I won't be alone. We'll have a big party, you and all my friends... and you will get to know every one of them very intimately." Simon grinned. "See you later, Rick. You and Negan kiss and make up, huh. A lover's spat ain't no reason to ruin a good marriage. And, you have a good marriage, Rick." 

Simon walked away, closing the door softly behind him. He was smiling as he headed down to the kitchen to see about finding something to eat. His chat with Rick had worked up his appetite. Such long conversations could do that to a man.


	7. Blood Tears

Negan wandered down to the cell where Carl had been taken. He wanted to talk to the kid, try to make him understand... because he really did like Carl... it wasn't just lip service. The boy was a lot like his father, and Negan would like to be a father figure for him. He wanted to keep Rick apart from Carl because he needed Rick to bond with him and Judith, and Carl was just too old to be molded the way Judith could be, and he would not be a good influence on his father. But, if Carl was separated from his dad and put into another environment, he could become a perfect Savior and soldier. It was just that Rick and Carl played off each other, and it was bad for both. So, it really was best that they be separated. 

He knocked on the cell door, waiting, but got no answer. He was sure the boy wasn't asleep, because even if he wasn't speaking, Negan had a sense he was listening. 

"Carl... it's me, Negan," he said softly. "I reckon you don't want to talk to me right now... probably pissed as hell, and I understand that. We did kill some of your people... ones you were close to... like Michonne. But, you need to understand that it was necessary. I gave them all a fair warning. They were lucky I let them live before."

Negan waited, giving Carl time. Then, he continued. "I know you aren't asleep, Carl. I got a sense about these things, you see. You are a lot like your dad and I know him pretty well... so in that sense, I know you pretty well, too.That's how I know you aren't asleep. Now, I like you. You know that. And, I'm sorry I had to take such drastic actions. I really didn't want to have to kill all your friends, but there were consequences for their actions... and they knew that when they behaved the way they did." 

"Now, I took it easy on you because of the fact I like you... and because of the fact Rick is your father. But, this is the time for you to understand, there will be consequences for you if you fuck up again. There will be no more free passes. Now, I know you are pretty emotional right now... and I'll give you a few days to get your head straight. But, after that, you will get back to training. You are going to be one of my top soldiers by the time I'm through with you." 

"You can go fuck yourself, you bastard!" Carl cried, his voice hoarse, from crying Negan supposed, though he was sure the kid wouldn't want to admit his weakness in front of Negan. 

"Still got that attitude," Negan chuckled. "You are going to need it. You'll need that inner strength. It'll help you, as you learn to be a savior..." 

"I'll never work for an asshole like you." Carl retorted. "You killed my family... and Enid... and... and..." Carl broke off, unable to continue, not wanting to break down again in front of Negan. 

"...what?... Now, wait a minute, kid..." Negan cried. "I may have killed your friends, but I didn't kill that girl. I don't kill kids... did you say she's dead? ... damn, that wasn't supposed to happen. I gave the direct order not to kill any children. I will find out who the fuck killed that girl and they will feel my wrath." Negan growled, furious at finding out of a death that never should have happened. That girl was supposed to have been left to live at the Kingdom. 

"What fucking difference does it make?" Carl rasped. "I loved Michonne, too, and you sure as hell aren't sorry about her!" 

"...you're right, Carl... I'm not... but, I am sorry I had to make that decision. And, I am sorry that you got hurt. I didn't want to have to do that to you. But, you are going to have to grow up and be a man. And, the things that have happened in your life will help you do that. The hard things will make you stronger. And, I know you are gonna make one hell of a soldier... because you are already such a goddamn badass, at your age."

"Now, granted, the world you grew up in was so fucked up you didn't have a regular childhood... but most kids couldn't even survive this shit. And, you actually thrived on it. Maybe, having Rick around helped. He's about as badass as they get. Whew! I'm sure he made sure nothing happened to you. And, he gave you an example to follow... made you into the badass you are. Guess I should thank him for that. He made you a survivor." 

"And, you will survive this loss in your life, too, and move forward. And, damn, I respect you, kid. I want you to know that. And, if I had a son, I'd want him to be just like you... just as brave, and just as tough... and just as loyal..." Negan waited a few minutes... but Carl didn't say anything else. "Just thought you should know that," he ended, before he turned around and headed back the way he came.  
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Rick struggled and struggled to free himself from the rope binding his wrists behind his back... but this wasn't a fucking movie, where the hero somehow manages to free themselves. And, he wasnt a fucking hero anyway. His wrists grew raw and bloody from his struggles, but the rope didn't feel any looser. He struggled until he was too exhausted to move... then lay there as tears streamed down his cheeks, although he really didn't know where all that fluid was coming from. He thought he was too dried up from all the tears he'd already shed, but apparently not. 

Rick was desperate... enough to do something drastic... if he could have freed himself. It was his fault, everything that had happened to all of the people he cared about. He had started the whole thing by attacking first... bringing himself to Negan's attention. And, that man's sanity was so questionable that he latched onto the one person whose own sanity was as questionable as his own. Rick could admit that to himself now... though he had not been willing to before. His own sanity had been unraveling since the world went to shit. But, he had been able to pass himself off as mostly sane most of the time, though there had been a few breaks, when others glimpsed the truth. But, even then, they had cared too much about him to recognise it, and had simply given him a pass.

But, not Negan. He had recognised a kindred spirit and wanted it. Sure, there had been a sexual attraction and a physical one... but the core of it was that he knew the truth, the fact that Rick was like him, maybe even more so... just better at camoflaging himself. Negan didn't even want to hide his own flaws, finding them an asset in this new world. It was the flamboyant characters that thrived now... wallflowers quickly getting swallowed up. That's what had happened to Lori... and others... too timid for their own good. But, even the strong perished in this world. There had to be more... and Rick knew it was the loss of one's sanity that rubbed out that moral core, the one that kept you human, it was destroyed, making one capable of just about anything... that's when you became the person that survived. 

And, you built a world around yourself, one that resembled right, at least in your own mind. That's what Rick had done. He had built a world around himself, one full of people he had made believe his truth. And, his charisma was such that he could draw people to him, even strong ones... though they were also secretly flawed. And, he had leadership ability. People wanted to follow him. So, it was his fault that Negan had found him... and decided to take out all of Rick's support group, so he could have him for himself. 

But, Rick hadn't been attracted to someone so like himself. He was still trying to keep up a fascade, and he wanted someone good to anchor him. First it had been Michonne... then Daryl, both flawed... but closer to what he wanted to be than he was. They still had a moral core... and Rick had hoped to find his way back through them. But, Negan wouldn't allow it to happen. He wanted to drag Rick even further into the abyss, and he would get rid of any and all distractions as a means to that end. 

Rick now knew that the only way to stop Negan was to take himself out of the picture. If he could destroy himself, he would destroy Negan, and also stop himself from being used by any like-minded individuals... such as Simon and his crew. Simon was even worse than Negan. His mind was gone and he'd never had a moral code. He was led by his basic needs and instincts, animalistic in many ways, though even animals had their rules to live by. Negan had control of Simon right now... to a certain extent. And, the lust Simon felt for Rick was tamped by that. But, without Negan to keep him in check, Simon would be able to let his beast out. 

Rick knew that Simon wasn't the only one here that was like that. Negan had surrounded himself with crazies... who were naturally attracted to others like themselves, and Rick had a lot of physical appeal to go with his own crazy... which made him highly desirable. 

But, Rick knew Negan could be used as a weapon, too, with Rick as the catalyst. Negan's fragile hold on his edge of sanity was his hold on Rick. And if he truly lost Rick, he would tip over the edge and destroy his own world. That was what Rick needed. But, he had to destroy himself for that to happen. He didn't think it was really such a sacrifice, anyway. Maybe he could pay back some of what he had taken in that way. Hopefully, Maggie and Carl could escape with Judith, during the chaos. Negan would be so busy destroying his own, they might have a chance. Rick just wouldn't be around to see it happen... because he had to die to start the implosion... the one-man destruction crew. And, eventually, Negan would go down too, but not before he destroyed his world beyond repair. And, that would help the rest of the world... give them a chance. 

But, Rick couldn't even free himself to put his plan in action. And, he knew Negan would come back to him. And, even though Negan said he didn't rape, he never gave a second thought to forced seduction... which he had already used on Rick... Rick didn't want Negan to use him that way again. He knew his body would betray him again under Negan's mastery. Rick knew he didn't want Negan, but he also knew his body had a different idea... wanting to experience that euphoria of pleasure again. And, Rick had no way to stop it from happening. Simon had threatened him that he'd better play house with Negan, but he had no idea that Rick was so susceptible already. Rick knew his own body would betray him if Negan pushed... and Negan would push... because Negan always pushed, especially when Rick resisted, which he couldn't help but do.  
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"Shhh..." Sherry hissed at Daryl. "Try a little harder to be quiet." she whispered. She had just finished cleaning and bandaging his shoulder where he had been shot... and he had let out another moan when she tilted his head back to give him a couple pain pills and a drink of water to swallow them with.

"Fucking hurts." he growled. 

"I know that." she whispered. "Getting shot always hurts. But it is only a flesh wound. There isn't any bullet in you. They weren't trying to kill you, saving you for Negan. And, he will definitely kill you... when he decides the most unpleasant way, and he'd put your carcass up on the damned fence too." 

"I'm trying to save you from that fate because I need you to help me save Rick. You're the only one who can do it. Negan has to be taken out... but so do the rest of the Saviors. They are a fucking disease, a cancer that needs annihilated. And, we are going to be the two-man army to do it. So, grit your teeth and bear it. Buckle up, and help me get this fucking job done." 

"I know this place and where everything is. I can get you out of here and we can go somewhere and plan our war. But, we don't have much time if you want to save Rick before Negan fucks his mind up too much to save him. Rick's on the edge and he's gonna fall if we don't save him. I wanna save him... I hope you feel the same way." 

"...I do... " Daryl hissed. 

"Ok... let's get the hell out of here then. I know where we can go. It's time to give Negan some surprises... unpleasant ones. He needs to get a taste of his own medicine..." 

Sherry helped Daryl to his feet, then threw the duffle bag over one shoulder. Daryl gritted his teeth against the pain and followed her. He was ready to get this party started.  
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Negan held Judith close to his chest, and she snuggled in sleepily... and as pleasant as this was, Negan could only wish Rick could be doing this, snuggling sleepily into him... finding confort in his arms. Negan didn't know what had gone wrong in the time Rick had been away from him, didn't know how he had lost him... because he had definitely lost him. Before that damn redneck had come back and stolen Rick from him, Negan knew there had been a breakthrough. Hell, they had become lovers! And, if outsiders had left them alone... Rick had been his! They would have been a great team. That was all Negan had ever wanted... a true partner, which is what Rick was.

Sure, he'd had to take drastic measures to make that partnership happen. But, it didn't matter. The ends justified the means, right? And, the end had been having Rick as his own. All that had been left was the time for Rick to settle into his new life... and he would have, Negan knew he would have... if that bastard hadn't come along and took him away, reminded him of his former life, drew him back into it. Damn! 

Negan handed the baby back to Gladys. She was sensing Negan's emotional battle and was whimpering. Negan didn't want to upset her, so he let the woman take her. She was going to take care of the little one tonight anyway, since Rick wouldn't set aside his anger long enough to confort the little one. 

"Please... go put her to bed." Negan said softly, running tender fingers over her curls... so like Rick's curls, he thought, absently. "I'll see the little angel tomorrow. And... thank you... for all of your help." 

Negan watched the woman walk away with the baby, before turning around, wearily, and heading in the direction of his room, where Rick was waiting. And, somehow, he hoped Simon's talk had gotten through to him... though he really couldn't believe it had. But, he was going to have to get Rick back somehow... because he simply couldn't live without him.

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Maggie had curled up on one end of the couch, under a blanket someone had been kind enough to give her, not Negan... he wasn't really that concerned with her welfare. She knew he would have killed her if she hadn't been pregnant. She had hoped she would be allowed to care for Rick's little girl, but Negan had been quick to shoot that hope down, in fact, making sure she knew she would never see the little girl again. That had hurt. She knew she wouldn't be seeing Rick either, any more than Carl would be. Negan wanted to have a family unit with Rick and his daughter, and he was determined about keeping them out. 

Maggie should have been happy Negan had no sexual interest in her... she'd seen the looks of some of the men at the Sanctuary and it made her shiver to think only Negan stood between her and possible rape... but his 'no rape' policy was a farce where Rick was concerned. He lied to himself about that. He had been holding Rick prisoner. There was no seduction. Rick had been coerced into sex... and that was still rape. So, Negan had no real morality if he could excuse his own behavior.

Maggie felt bad for Carl, with his loss of his girlfriend and his second mom. She knew the pain he felt. She'd been there when she lost Glenn. But, she knew Carl would survive this. He was so strong. He had become that strong in this world. And, as much as she was sad not to be a part of Judith's life, she knew Negan meant her no physical harm. He would take care of the little girl. She was afraid for Daryl... but unable to do anything about it. And, Daryl probably didn't have long to live. But her biggest fear was for Rick's mental stability. 

Maggie was worried about Negan's obsession with the Alexandria leader. She remembered his fascination with Rick from the beginning, even as she'd watched the bastard beat her husband to death. He had seemed to be putting on a show for Rick, even then. And, when he had drug Rick off to that RV, she had been sure he was going to rape him, hadn't even been sure he hadn't until later. But, she had known he had an unhealthy interest in the man. 

She also remembered how unstable Rick had been when he was rescued. He had even rejected Michonne, which Maggie knew had hurt the woman a lot. She had been in love with Rick and Rick loved her, before Negan had taken him prisoner. But, after... If it hadn't been for Daryl... That man had brought Rick back from the edge... and something had started to develop between them... Michonne had accepted it, even though she was still in love with the man. All she wanted was for Rick to be happy. And, now it seemed to have been for nothing. Michonne was dead... and Daryl soon would be... and she had no way to save the man who had become her best friend and mentor a long time ago.He had believed in her before she even believed in herself. If only... if only Negan hadn't roared back into their world and destroyed it.

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Negan opened the door to his room quietly, careful not to wake Rick if he were asleep. He was surprised to see him laying on the bed. He had been on the sofa when he left him. He started to smile. Maybe Rick had gotten past the shock and was willing to give their relationship another chance. Then... 

Rick rolled over, having heard the door open, and not wanting to be caught unaware again... not after his episode with Simon. He didn't want that man to touch him again. He wasn't any happier at seeing Negan, another person he didn't want touching him. He gave a frown, not even bothering to pretend he was anything but unhappy to see that monster. 

The beginning of a smile melted off Negan's face at the look he got from Rick. Obviously, Simon's talk had done nothing. Rick was in the same nasty mood as when he left him. He sighed, heavily, and walked toward the bed, stopping several feet from the bound man. 

"Do you need to use the bathroom, Rick?" he asked. Rick had been here several hours, so it was a reasonable question. 

"I'd rather just piss on you!" Rick growled. 

"Yeah... I'm sure you would." Negan gave a grimace at that. "That, however, is not an option. I will release your hands so you can use the toilet... if you promise not to try that shit." 

Negan waited, but Rick didn't answer. "...ok, guess I'll have to help you then..." he started.

"Don't you dare fucking touch me!" Rick spat. 

"Well... if you don't want me to touch your pretty dick, you need to promise to behave..." Negan couldn't help his grin. 

"... ok... I won't piss on you..." Rick growled reluctantly. He really did need to piss, badly. He had been holding it for so long. He couldn't help the flinch, though, when Negan cut his hands free, as his skin made contact with Rick's own. 

Rick managed to get to his feet, shakily, eying Negan the whole time, to me sure the man didn't try to touch him... and to notice the knife that might come in useful for him. It might be a means to an end for him. Negan didn't have a gun with him... not even Lucille was in sight. The knife was his only chance... unless Negan had a gun he wasn't aware of, highly unlikely that the bulge in his pants was that kind of concealed weapon, Rick thought, disgusted. He couldn't believe the bastard had a hard-on. Negan had barely touched him, but was clearly aroused over it. 

Rick turned as far away from Negan as possible to use the toilet, and made sure he was completely zipped away before he washed his hands, then splashed some water over his face... and rubbed it over the back of his neck, under his long damp curls, over his sweaty skin. Rick didn't even think about it, not noticing how Negan's tongue swiped over his upper lip as the unexpected tease made a rush of lust race up his spine and his dick grew even harder. Rick couldn't help that everything he did was so sensual to Negan. 

When Rick turned back around, scrubbing his hair back from his face, he noticed Negan's intent gaze, and groaned, disgusted. "Really...?" he grumbled, under his breath, heading over to sit on the couch. 

"It's getting late, Rick." Negan said. "Tomorrow is gonna be a long day. Might as well get some sleep..." 

"The bed is all yours..." Rick replied. "Go ahead and get your beauty sleep." he sneered. 

"Don't be a wiseass, Rick. This is our bed. Come on... I promise I won't molest you." Negan said, softly. 

"If you think I'm getting in that bed with you you have lost your fucking mind!" Rick snapped. 

"I promised not to molest you, darling. I just want to hold you. I won't do anything else, I swear... just hold you, baby. It's been so long..." 

"Go to hell!" Rick cried. 

"I'm already fucking there..." Negan growled, striding over to a surprised Rick, reaching out to grab his wrist, jerking him up off the sofa, and into his arms. 

"You bastard!" Rick spurted, struggling to free himself. 

"I tried to be nice, baby." Negan snorted. "I didn't want to use force... not for something so simple. I just wanted to hold you. But you want to start a fucking war over such a simple request..." 

"It wasn't a request. It was an order. And, if it's something so simple, why is your goddamn dick so hard it's stabbing me in the stomach?" Rick cried. 

"I never said I didn't want to fuck you until you couldn't see strait. I just said I wouldn't do it. I will just settle for sleeping with you in my arms. And, I don't think that's too fucking much to want." 

"You have no right to want anything as far as I am concerned. I don't want anything from you, except your death... which I will do everything in my power to make happen... so leave me the hell alone!" Rick retorted. 

"...well, we all can't have what we want, can we?" Negan growled. "And, since I'm stronger than you, it looks like I'm the goddamn Alpha dog here..." Negan drug Rick over to the bed, forcing him down on it. He managed to get Rick's boots off as well as his own, and pulled a blanket up around them. He kept Rick pinned in the tight embrace of his arms, his long legs wrapped around Rick's to keep him locked close. 

Negan made soft soothing noises as Rick struggled in his arms... until the beautiful man exhausted himself. He planted soft kisses against his silky curls, as Rick cringed... and pretended not to see the tears that streaked down his cheeks. "... and I am just gonna keep on loving you... whether you want me to or not, beautiful..." Negan said softly, kissing the top of Rick's curly head again... pretending... pretending that everything was as it should be... as he held his lover in his arms, until he finally fell asleep... then Negan drifted off himself.


	8. Rise Up

The morning found Sherry and Daryl finally reaching the destination Sherry had in mind. They had traveled all night, avoiding the dead, so as not to leave a trail. It had taken more time that way, but was safer. The cabin was actually nice, even if it was very isolated out here in the woods. But, it had been kept up, and it was stocked up with supplies. It made Daryl wonder about who else knew about this hideaway... and if it were really safe.

"It's safe, Daryl. Nobody knows about this place... definitely not Negan or anyone at the Sanctuary. This is my secret place." Sherry explained to a dubious looking Daryl. 

"Safe, huh?" Daryl frowned. "How is that possible? Who's been taking care of this place? I know it wasn't you. You never left the Sanctuary. Negan wouldn't have allowed it. So, you can't say this place is safe if someone else knows about it... someone from the Sanctuary. It had to be someone from there because your never had contact with anyone else. That doesn't make me confidant of it's safety. Who could you trust in that place, that Negan wouldn't kill if he found out they were around one of his wives? And, would they keep your secret now that you're gone?" 

"This is a place I knew before the world changed." Sherry said softly. "Back when I was happy, truly happy. Dwight and I, this was our place. He had freedom at the Sanctuary that I didn't. He kept this place up. We found time to talk often, and he kept me up on the place. We had to be careful... so Negan never caught on. But, this was our place... and he kept it for us... for the memories. We never thought we'd get back to it, but it was still here... just in case. And, with Dwight dead now, nobody knows. It was our secret..." Sherry finished. 

"Ok... it's safe then..." Daryl relented. "Why don't you show me around... and explain your plans to save Rick." 

"Not a problem. It has two bedrooms... a master and a guest, which was for my sister. She lived with Dwight and me. Our parents were gone before the world was. So, we were our own little family when it ended. She was my little sister and we took care of her." Sherry said, "or tried to." Sherry was quiet for a minute and Daryl just waited. 

"I wish we'd never went searching for a safe place with other people. What we found was Negan.... and the Sanctuary wasn't what we thought. It was what destroyed us. And, I lost my sister... and Dwight and I lost each other. And, I don't think it was worth it. We should never have left this place." Sherry said. 

"You couldn't have stayed here forever. The world would have found you. It always does. But, we should be good for a few days... time to put together a plan." Daryl said. 

"Yes. And, Dwight was good. He went out all the time, and part of what he found came here... especially weapons. There is quite a large supply of guns and ammo in the basement, under the trap door. But, there is also some more specialized weaponry. He stocked things like grenades and dynamite, some smoke bombs, and I don't know what else. We'll have to take a look and find out." Sherry explained. 

"I'll thank you for your help, and thank God for what Dwight did for this place... but I won't thank him. He was a bastard. I don't care what he went through. He made the wrong choices. What he did to Aaron was inhumane. He treated the man like an animal, abused him terribly... and that doesn't even count his treatment of me before that. Death was better than he deserved." Daryl spat.

"I know what he did, and I don't excuse it. But, he did have a good side. He wasn't always such a monster. Negan caused him to become what he became. That's who I blame. And, I blame myself, too. I was the one who wanted to leave and find people. I led us to Negan, and I caused our downfall." Sherry insisted. 

"You didn't make him who he was. It had to be inside him. It didn't come from nowhere. So, don't go blaming yourself for his actions. You can take the blame for your own, same as I can. We have both fucked shit up enough we don't need to look elsewhere for something to burden ourselves with. We got plenty without it." Daryl replied. "Now, come on. Let's see if we can get cleaned up and find something to eat. I'm starving!" 

"There's a pump out back, connected to a good well. There's jugs of water here to prime it. We have a wood stove, with a kindling box, and a woodshed. So, we can heat water for the tub, and take turns bathing. And we can use the stove to cook on or warm up food from some of the cans. There are dishes and cookware, even some utensils. It's a good setup. But it will get pretty warm inside with the stove. Might need to be outside for a while to let it cool down. Keep an eye out for walkers. But, it'll cool off at night. And this cabin is strong. None of the dead will get in. We'll be safe." Sherry offered. "How about we do that bathing later. We got enough water to wash up a bit. And, we can eat the food cold, for now. I'm sure it won't be that bad. Then, we can check your wound and redress it, before we get some sleep. We traveled all night, and I, for one, am exhausted. And, you could use some rest too." 

"As much as I'd like to argue with you about wasting time, I'm just too damn tired. So, we'll get some sleep. Negan ain't gonna kill Rick anytime soon. I was the only one he wanted to kill. When he finds me missing he'll be pissed, for sure.... and he will send people out to find me. I'm sure of that. He ain't gonna just let me go. He won't rest until he gets a chance to end my life. Maybe that will distract him from Rick a bit, help Rick, keep Negan off him. It's the best I can hope for. If he forces Rick again..." Daryl growled.

"Don't think about that." Sherry interrupted. "There's nothing you can do about it right now. And, you're gonna kill him, regardless. So, why bother saying if when it doesn't really matter. He's dead, regardless. We don't really have a choice. We have to kill him to save Rick, because Negan will die before he let's him go." 

"Yeah... you're right..." Daryl grumbled. "Just hate that Rick is there, hate that Negan is gonna touch him... because I know that son-of-a-bitch is gonna touch him. And, I hope Rick can hang on long enough for us to save him. He almost checked out last time. I can't lose him... I just can't." Daryl choked back a sob, knowing it wasn't the time to break down. He needed to be strong. 

Sherry stood by awkwardly, not knowing what to do. She didn't think the redneck would let her give him a hug. He didn't seem the type. So, she waited until he had himself under control, then offered a weak smile. 

"Let's wash up a bit... so we can eat something... then get some sleep..." Daryl said, gruffly. 

"...yeah... " Sherry said softly. 

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Negan woke up slowly, subconsciously still aware of the sleeping man in his arms, and careful not to wake him. When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was the exhausted tear-stained face on the pillow beside him. Negan carefully loosened his hold on Rick, so he could move back slightly, getting a better view. He wasn't disappointed. Rick looked beautiful when he was sleeping, hell, who was he kidding, to him Rick looked beautiful all the time. Negan thought of Rick as perfect. He just wished he could get Rick to understand that. Negan knew that Rick had feelings for him... he had to, or he wouldn't have made love to him so passionately, before. It was just that those people had got into his head and made him feel ashamed of those feelings. That was another reason Negan didn't want any of those people around Rick. Their influence was negative, destroying something that was meant to be.

But, Negan was going to get Rick back. All the bad influence was gone now. Rick had noone to turn to but him. And, Rick wasn't a loner. He needed people, needed touch, and love. And, eventually, he would turn to Negan for that. Negan was going to make sure Rick had nobody else to turn to for the love and confort he needed. It was that simple, a process of elimination. 

Negan simply lay there, watching Rick sleep for a long time, propped up on his elbow, staring down at the profile of the man he loved. The dark eyelashes making deep shadows beneath the closed lids. 

'God, Rick, how did you get such pretty lush lashes?' Negan thought. 'You have longer lashes than any of my wives. And, we both know what those lashes are covering up right now, don't we, baby? Yeah... those eyes of yours... those are what dreams are made of... just what the color blue was invented for...you put angels to shame with those eyes.' Negan mused. 

Negan reached a hand up to slide his fingers through Rick's loose curls. They were soft... would be even softer once he'd had a nice shower and cleaned up. But Negan could still appreciate them, even if they had a slight smell of sweat and dust. He'd take Rick any way he could get him, clean or dirty. Nothing changed his obsession with the man... Negan leaned down to plant a soft kiss on those curls, inhaling the scent, before pulling back. 

"Oh, Rick... what you do to me..." Negan whispered. "God was having a really good day when he made you." 

Negan brought a hand up to Rick's face, his fingers tracing over the skin softly, as if memorizing it, not that he'd ever forget. He scraped his nails over the light scruff of Rick's beard, thinking he didn't really mind that Rick could use a shave. The stubble was a reminder that all that beauty was a real man, in case Negan ever forgot... not that he was likely to. Negan remembered the hard body that was hidden beneath those clothes. It was definitely all male, every perfect inch of it. Negan's fingers traced over the soft luscious lips, remembering the feel of them against his own, and the taste of that mouth, the heat and hunger of it, and before he could stop himself, his mouth had come down on Rick's. 

The kiss revived Rick, as the fingers had not, but he wasn't awake yet, and his mind wasn't aware of whose lips were kissing him. So he relaxed into the kiss, letting Negan's tongue press between his lips. The light tangle of tongues, before it slowly withdrew, and Negan nipped at Rick's plump lower lip, before heading in for a second kiss... which Rick accepted, his eyes drifting open, as he was waking up. At first, he didn't recognise it was Negan... but as he fully woke, recognition dawned, and his hands came up to shove Negan away.

Negan was surprised when Rick shoved him, unlocking their lips, but not moving Negan's body. Rick had both hands up now, pushing at Negan, trying to get away from him. 

"No!" Rick hissed. "No, no, no..." he cried, pushing harder against Negan. 

"Baby..." Negan began, but Rick cut him off. 

"Get the fuck off me!" Rick snarled, sounding more like an animal than human. "Get off me, now!" 

"I am not going anywhere, Rick." Negan growled, feeling an irritation that Rick was trying to dismiss him. He knew it had been too good to last. That kiss had been so wonderful, then Rick had to ruin it. But, Negan was not going to let Rick stop what had started. He was going to get something out of it. He slid his body over on top of Rick, bringing his hard jean-clad cock into contact with Rick's crotch, grinding down into it. 

"You bastard!" Rick cried, struggling to push Negan off himself, a futile exercise on his part, because Negan was larger and stronger and had an added advantage of being fully aroused and determined. 

Negan lifted himself off Rick for a moment, but Rick had no time for relief, because Negan was only repositioning himself, bringing his knees down inside Rick's, so he could force his legs open, and bring his groin into the space. He slid easily between Rick's thighs, as if it had been an open invitation, thrusting his hardness in and up against Rick, his hand cupping the back of Rick's head, fingers tangling in the curls to securely hold him in place, as he brought his mouth back down on the struggling man's beneath him. Negan kissed Rick hard, biting at the lips that tried to clamp shut against him, forcing his tongue between resisting lips, as he thrust against Rick's groin, grinding into him. 

Negan knew he shouldn't do this, but he couldn't help himself. He needed to have some intimacy with Rick, just to keep himself in check. It really didn't take long, before he felt the approach of his orgasm. Then, his body jerked, his jeans growing damp with his release, as he ground into Rick, his gasps lost in the kiss, until the tremors slowed. Then, he rolled off Rick, shoving away from him, laying on the bed, his breaths coming heavy and rapid as he came down from his release. 

Rick lay silent beside him, not moving, his body in the same position, legs still parted where Negan's body had been, jeans damp with Negan's release, the spot on his crotch... evidence of what had transpired. And, Rick lay there in humiliation, hating how Negan had used his body to get off, and disgusted with himself for having not been able to prevent it. Negan had been able to take what he wanted from him, with no more resistance than a child would have been able to offer. He felt so helpless. And, he hated himself as much as Negan. And, this was even worse than the last time... because he remembered how he had been aroused by this creature, had acted like such a wanton whore for him. And, he didn't think he could ever forget that fact. And, it made him feel so dirty he didn't think he could ever be clean again. 

" ...sorry... baby...didn't mean to do that..." Negan said softly, as his breath returned to normal.

"...it's just that I was laying there watching you sleep... and you were so fucking beautiful... and I just had to touch you... then I kissed you... and when you kissed me back...well...I just lost it...." Negan tried to explain his behavior. " 

"...I didn't... Hell, Rick, fucking say something. I'm trying to apologize here. I didn't mean to use you like that. I want you to enjoy it, too... and that was selfish of me... just concerned with myself..." Negan growled, not understanding. 

Rick stayed silent, because the apology was wrong. Negan wasn't apologizing for what he'd done. He was apologizing for not making sure Rick had enjoyed it. He didn't seem to understand he needed to apologize for doing it at all, needed to apologize for not asking permission... but since when had that man ever thought he needed permission to just take what wasn't his? 

"...well, can't just lay here in bed all day... as much as I'd love to just cuddle with you." Negan let out a chuckle. "This place doesn't run itself, you know. Gotta go get shit done." Negan sat up on the side of the bed. "I'm gonna take a shower..." Negan paused. "...you could join me if you want... conserve water..." Negan gave a grin, as Rick jerked around, his eyes spitting fire... exactly the reaction he had purposely provoked. He would get Rick to respond one way or another, bring out that passion in him, even if it was just anger. 

"Go fuck yourself!" Rick snarled. 

"Oh, no, baby." Negan snorted. "No reason to do that when I have you. You sure know how to fuck a man, but good. And you fucked me up for life. One time with you and I am your slave. Nobody else for me. Just you, beautiful. My dick don't get hard for nobody but you." 

"Not sorry to say, my dick doesn't feel the same. In fact, it's about the fucking opposite!" Rick spat. 

Rick's words went through Negan like a bolt of lightening. The thought of Rick getting aroused by anyone else made Negan crazy. He twisted around, his hand grabbing Rick by the throat. 

"If you ever let anyone else touch you, I'll fucking kill them! Do you understand me? I'll fucking kill them!" Negan released Rick, who gasped for breath, Negan's handprints bright against the skin, which was going to bruise there, the force of his grip leaving it's evidence behind. 

"If you feel that way... why the fuck did you let Simon threaten me that way?" Rick gasped. 

...What...?" Negan was confused. "Simon only came to talk to you... try to get you to understand...."

"Right..." Rick snorted. 

"What do you mean, right?" Negan hissed. 

"He did a lot of talking, alright... all threats, punctuated with a demonstration." 

"Are you saying he touched you?" Negan rasped. "Did he put his hands on you?" 

"As if you didn't know..." Rick sniffed in disbelief. 

"Goddammit, Rick. Stop fucking around and tell me, did he fucking touch you?" Negan yelled. 

"Yes... he fucking touched me... he gave me a preview of your performance... except with a different ending..." Rick said, quietly, as he realized that Negan hadn't known what Simon had done, had not given him permission to do it. 

"Did he rape you?" Negan whispered, terrified of the answer. 

"...not exactly..." 

"What does that mean...?" Negan cried. 

"Just what I said... he did what you did... but he got up and jerked off to finish. But, he threatened me. Said I better play nice with you or he would be back, with a lot of friends... and they would all rape me... plus Maggie and my boy..." Rick ran out of steam. He recalled the horror of it all, realizing that he could have caused it to happen by refusing Negan, and he began to tremble, terrified, then he broke into sobs, realizing Negan was the only thing standing between him and such a fate. 

Negan stared at Rick a moment, taking in everything he had said. Simon was a fucking dead man. Negan had never given permission for what he'd done. He would never have allowed Simon to threaten Rick that way. He had never thought Simon would do such a thing. Then, Negan realized how Rick was falling apart in front of him. Maybe Rick didn't want him to touch him, but he had to confort the man somehow. 

Negan reached over and pulled Rick into his arms, holding him tight and rocking him like a baby. "It's ok, baby. You don't have to worry about that. I won't let that happen. Simon will never touch you again, nor will any of the other Saviors. And, Maggie and Carl are safe too. I would never let it happen. I'd never let you be hurt like that. Hush, darling. You are safe... you and your family. I'll take care of the problem.... ok? I'll take care of it...don't you worry... shh.... everything is going to be ok...shhh...." 

Negan held Rick, rocking him, whispering words of confort into his ear. And, surprisingly, Rick didn't resist, melting into the conforting embrace, desperate for the confort he received, any confort, even if it came from an enemy, because it was all he had, and he needed it. When his sobs finally turned to whimpers and he drifted off to sleep, Negan eased him out of his arms, laying him gently on the pillow, before he headed out of the room, grabbing his knife off the table as he went, careful to close the door softly, so as not to wake the sleeping man, before he let his rage take over. 

Negan headed off to find his number one, who was soon going to be a number zero, the rage boiling through his veins ready to erupt like a volcano. That son-of-a-bitch had touched Rick, threatened to rape him... and Negan could hardly contain his rage. Simon couldn't have been so stupid. Negan had made it plain to him that he didn't want Rick hurt. And Simon had hurt him, emotionally... and physically. 

Negan knew he had not handled himself much better... but at least he had not done it on purpose whereas Simon had even threatened Rick with gang-rape... adding Maggie and Carl as an incentive, trying to force him into Negan's bed. The one thing Negan didn't need was somebody to pimp for him. He was capable of seducing anyone he chose, including the beautiful Rick Grimes. He'd seduced him before and he would again. When he had spoke to Simon, he'd been in a frustrated mood, but he hadn't really been defeated, though Simon must have thought that. But, that was no excuse for what he'd done to Rick. And, Simon was going to learn that before he died... and he was going to die, at least in one form. Negan was going to put his carcass on the fence, where he could stay until he fell apart, continuing his existance as one of the living dead.

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	9. Heart Capture

Negan needed a shower, Simon's blood still on him. And, he couldn't use his own room. Rick was there, and Negan didn't want him to see this, even though he knew Rick has seen much worse. But, Negan figured he'd seen enough blood, as well as everything else, lately. So Negan went to use the communal shower. He'd go see Rick later, after he was fresh and clean again. And, besides, he wanted to see Carl and Judith again, anyway. In fact he was going to try to get Rick to spend some time with their little angel, try to get Rick to open up to the idea of them as a family... because that is what they were gonna be. Negan wasn't going to let go of that. Rick was just going to have to accept it.

Negan was going to be gentle with Rick. He didn't want him to break. But, he wasn't going to allow the man to back away. Negan was going to force Rick to remember what had been between them, before that fucking redneck had stolen him away. They had been lovers, in a sense. And, Rick wasn't going to be allowed to forget that. And, eventually, they were going to be that again... as well as a family, him and Rick and Judith, that is... Carl not a part of that trio, though he would be a part of Negan's life. Negan really did like the young man, just not as a part of his little family unit with Rick. But, he would be a valuable member of Negan's Saviors.  
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Negan was actually whistling softly to himself as he went to get Judith, even though his visit to Carl hadn't exactly been a positive one. Carl had decided to play the silent-hero type again... not speaking one word to Negan through the cell door. But, Negan didn't let it get him down. The boy would come around. He had made sure the kid had a good meal delivered, putting Arat in charge of that. She was a loyal soldier and would see that the kid was taken care of. Judith was sitting on the floor playing with a stuffed dog, when Negan went to collect her from Gladys, having already been fed a bowl if oatmeal for breakfast. She hadn't been a witness to the brutality of Negan's earlier episode with Simon. It was something she had no need to witness any more than her father did. And, Gladys had kept her in her room while the rest of the Sanctuary had been there to witness how Negan dealt with disloyalty. 

Negan thought back on how it had gone...

"Hey, boss. Looks like you had a good night." Simon smirked. 

"Is that what you think, Simon?" Negan replied, holding himself in check. 

"...well, sure..." Simon seemed confused, then. "... you spent the night with Rick..." 

"...Speaking of Rick..." Negan interrupted him. "...he had some interesting stuff to tell me..." 

"...he did, huh..." Simon gave a half grin, not sure what to say. "...he have a change of heart?" 

"Was he supposed to, Simon?" Negan said softly. 

"... well... after my chat with him..." Simon shrugged. 

"...Yeah... your chat..." Negan nodded, as if agreeing with Simon, only to come back at him a moment later. "About that chat..." Negan's voice raised, "You did a little more than just have a chat with Rick, didn't you?" 

"...what do you mean?" Simon asked, a little worried and confused. He was fairly sure Rick wouldn't say anything, but he wasn't one hundred percent on that. 

"I mean you did what I told you not to," Negan replied. "In fact, you did a hell of a lot more than that, didn't you?" Negan's voice had raised to a shout by this time, and, Simon was looking really worried now. 

"...Hey, boss... I don't know what that little bitch told you but..." 

Negan didn't give Simon the chance to finish what he started to say, before his fist smashed into Simon's lying face, whipping it to the side, blood streaming from a busted nose. Negan was quick to follow that up with another fist to the jaw, whipping the head back in the other direction, causing blood to spray out across Negan's cheek, as Simon's lips split open. The third blow sent the man reeling back, so he lost his balance and ended up on his ass, blood streaming from his mouth and nose. 

"You mother-fucker!" Negan snarled. "You put your fucking hands on him...then threatened to have him gang-raped, along with his son and Maggie. That's what you fucking did; tried to force him into my bed." Negan added. "I don't need a fucking pimp, you jackass. I can do just fine on my own..." 

"Yeah, right," Simon snorted. "Rick hates your fucking guts. He wasn't ever gonna let you touch him again. All I did was give him a reason to rethink those feelings." Simon continued. "He needed to get with the damn program, because his attitude was messing with your head, and The Sanctuary needed you in the game. I was just helping your ass out." 

Negan lashed out with a booted foot, catching Simon in the side of the head, sending him back to the ground from which he'd started to rise. 

"Mother-fucker, you put your hands on something that belonged to me!" Negan growled. "Rick Grimes is mine, you bastard," Negan sank his boot into Simon's ribs... then set to kicking him in the back, as Simon tried to roll away from him, then the back of the head... and finally stomping down between his legs, setting up a howl from the barely conscious man, at this point. 

Then, Negan dropped down, his hands suddenly around Simon's throat, squeezing hard, as the man struggled to free his throat... until he couldn't anymore... until his head was jerked aside with a snap, and Negan broke his neck. And for good measure, Negan pulled out his knife, jamming it into Simon's stomach, ripping down and across it, before jerking the knife free, letting Simon's insides spill out. 

"Now, that fucking suits you, you gutless prick!" Negan snorted, wiping his bloody knife on his pants, not bothering with the blood he'd gotten on his hands... 

Negan got to his feet, taking a moment to catch his breath, then spitting on the lump of flesh at his feet. "Just in case any of you other fuckers get to thinking like this piece of shit!" Negan hissed. "Nobody is ever going to touch Rick but me. Understand! Rick is mine! And, I will kill anyone that ever forgets that fact. Now, somebody get this fucker on the fence... where he can do his fucking job and actually work for me." Negan hadn't even waited to see his order carried out, before turning and heading back the way he came.  
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Negan made faces at Judith, holding her in a firm, but gentle, grip in his arms, as he slowly made his way to his room, where Rick was in residence right now. The little girl set off in another fit of giggles. She seemed to have gotten over everything she'd been through fairly easily, and had taken to Negan well. She seemed to have no objection to his holding her... in fact she had been quite happy to be there, and he was keeping her entertained easily enough. She had a tight grip on her stuffed doggie, but her other hand was gripping Negan's shirt just as tightly, so as not to lose either one, it seemed.

Negan was happy that she had bonded so well with him. Just went to show, he was meant to be a father... And, now, thanks to Rick, he was finally going to get the chance to be one. And, Negan wasn't going to let Rick fuck that up. They were meant to be a family, and Rick was going to have to realize that, because Negan wasn't ever going to let him go. Hell, where would he go anyway? Negan had taken away all of his 'family,' and friends. He had noone left except him... and Judith, of course; along with the knowledge that Carl was still alive, even if he would not be able to speak to the young man again... nor Maggie, for that matter. Negan had made the decision that Maggie would be allowed to raise her baby here, and wouldn't be punished for her earlier behavior... she had been a little distraught, after all. So, he was going to give her a pass, as long as she didn't mess up again. And, she would be given the same privileges as his wives, even though she would never be one of them. If she chose to take one of Negan's lieutenants as a husband later on, that would be perfectly acceptable. All she had to do was stay away from Rick... because Rick would be totally off limits for her, the same as he would be for Carl. 

Negan would decide who Rick could speak to or spend any time with... and it would be a short list, because Negan wanted Rick to concentrate most of his time on their family. Not that Rick would have to worry about anything, anyway. Negan had the Sanctuary under control. It ran smoothly, everyone knowing their jobs. And, Rick's only job would be keeping him and Judith happy... which was pretty easy really. Judith just wanted to be loved, and regardless of Rick's comments earlier, Negan knew Rick loved his daughter. And, as for Negan, just as long as he had Rick he was happy. Rick would adapt, Negan was sure of it. Not like he really had a choice.  
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Daryl and Sherry got several hours of sleep before the heat of the day got to be too much, penetrating the closed-up cabin. Then, they got groggily to their feet, not reallyhaving had enough rest, but unable to sleep any longer in the rising heat. So they decided to get started on that bathing idea, priming the pump and beginning to cart water into the bathtub, putting the stopper down to hold the water. The water was frigid cold, coming from the spring fed well, but the heat of the tub actually made it rise to cold, and after about an hour it was tolerable for even Sherry, the pair having decided not to build a fire in the stove, after all... the heat being too much for them. In fact they were going to build a fire outside to cook some food later... before dark, so nobody would spot their fire, of course.

Then, they would spend one more night, and head out in the morning. Yeah, a nice bath and a belly full of food...And, after the sun went down and the cabin cooled off, they could get in a good night's sleep, and head out early in the morning. They would take some weapons with them and head back to the Kingdom. Sherry had told Daryl there was only going to be a few Saviors there, and Simon had put Eugene in a position of authority, not realizing what a snake the chubby guy could really be. Eugene had no loyalty to the Saviors at all, and would only play along until he had the chance to bring them down. Once those Saviors were taken care of, Daryl could get a vehicle and come back with a group of Kingdom fighters to the cabin, to collect the rest of the weapons and come up with a plan to destroy the Sanctuary along with Negan and his Saviors, setting the rest of the people who lived there free, including Rick, Carl, Maggie and baby Judith. Daryl had every confidence that he could make this happen. Sherry had no other plan on what to do and was going to help Daryl any way she could. She had even come to realize she could never have Rick, but she was going to make damn sure Negan didn't get him either. She was going to free Rick in memory of who Dwight had once been, before Negan destroyed him. Negan sure as hell didn't deserve someone like Rick, and he wasn't going to get him.  
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Rick had been aware of Negan leaving, though he pretended to be asleep. He waited until he was sure the man was gone, before he got up, frowning when he noticed Negan had taken the knife. Rick had wanted that knife... just for some options. The knife could have been a weapon, if he caught Negan unaware. Rick knew Negan was his protector, in a way; but he was also the one who put him in this position to need protection; plus he was also the same monster who had destroyed Rick's family. Rick was well aware of the fact that he had killed a bunch of Negan's men and a retaliation was to be expected. But, what Negan had done to him was not a retaliation in any sense of the word. It was totally fucked up. Negan's obsession with him was insanity at it's peak, and Rick had to find a way to escape it, meaning Negan had to die. There was no other way. But, how was he going to accomplish his goals without a weapon. He was also willing to sacrifice himself for the good of what was left of his family unit... because taking himself out of the picture could only help them. 

Rick had heard the commotion going on somewhere in the Sanctuary, though he didn't know what it was. He figured Negan would let him know about it anyway. The man was always at the center of everything and had a mouth that never shut up, liking to brag about himself and everything he did. So, more likely than not, Rick would hear about what the commotion was, whether he cared or not.

Rick decided to play it easy for a bit... not submitting to Negan, but not fighting him on everything either. It was the only way to get Negan to let down his gaurd, then Rick would be ready to strike. Let, Negan think he had won... that Rick was defeated. Negan would know the truth when Rick killed him... he'd understand then. But, Rick was going to let him get confortable first... let his ego get the best of him. And, if he played his game right, Rick was sure he could take down the whole Sanctuary with Negan. Hopefully, he wouldn't have to die in the process, but if he did it would be worth it.  
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Negan opened the door to his room slowly, not wanting to startle Rick if he was still asleep, as it was apparent he was when Negan saw his form curled up on the bed, on his side. Negan came into the room, shutting the door softly. He walked over to the bed, sitting Judith down beside her father, before reaching down to shake Rick gently. 

"Hey, darling, I brought someone to see you." Negan said softly. "Thought maybe you changed your mind and wanted to see this little angel after all..." 

Rick opened his eyes slowly, yawning and stretching. And he didn't have to pretend to have an emotional reaction to Judith. He burst into tears, reaching out to pull his daughter into his arms, holding her close, kissing the top of her curly head. It took him a few minutes to get himself under control. Then he sat up on the bed, the little girl on his lap, stroking his fingers through her hair, telling her how beautiful she was and how he was so happy to see her. And, the words were the truth. He wasn't acting for Negan's benefit. 

"Thank you..." Rick looked at Negan, as he continued to stroke Judith's curls. And, he actually meant the words. "...I was too messed up last night to be thinking clearly... when I said..." Rick mumbled. "...you know... but I love her... and, I'd like to keep her... Don't take her away from me... I.... I'll try...I'll try to be ...with... you... just don't take her away, too. I don't have anyone else. Just let me keep my daughter, please..." 

"...Our daughter, Rick." Negan interrupted. "She's our daughter...." 

Rick closed his eyes tight, forcing himself not to say something detrimental to himself. After a moment he opened them and looked at Negan. He managed not to grimace, even. 

"Thank you... and I'm not just talking about now..." Rick said, deftly changing the subject, managing not to agree with Negan about Judith being 'their' daughter, his voice raspy, with the effort. "...I mean about 'the Simon thing.' Thank you for letting me know you weren't ok with what he did, and that you didn't put him up to it..." Rick added. "Not saying you were right about what you did either," Rick added quickly. "...because you weren't. I said 'no' to you, too, but you didn't listen to me. You had no right...to touch me, either. Don't do it again." 

"Uh...Rick...I really don't want to argue with you in front of our daughter, but we will be discussing this later. You need to understand a few things. But... as I said... we'll discuss them later. I'm going to let you spend some time with our little angel while I go take care of a few things. I'll be back later. And, if you need anything ask one of the gaurds outside the door. They'll be happy to take care of it for you. And, make sure you get something to eat. I'll check to make sure. Don't disappoint me, baby. Just try to behave yourself. And, take care of our little angel." Negan told Rick, before turning his attention to the little blond, "Daddy will be back later, sweetheart..." Negan leaned down to place a soft kiss on Judith's curly head, before turning to plant his lips against Rick's forehead for a quick kiss, before Rick could jerk away, frowning. Negan headed for the door with a chuckle, amused by Rick's reaction.  
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Negan was in a rage. He had gone down to the cell to see that creature, the fucking redneck... not to kill him, hadn't decided how he wanted to do it yet, but he wanted to beat the fuck out of the son-of-a-bitch, anyway. That would give him some satisfaction... the feel of his fists striking the flesh of the bastard, whose sneak attack had nearly beaten him unconscious. He wanted payback, plain and simple. And, he was shocked to see that there wasn't any gaurd on duty. That wily bastard had escaped before, and even though he'd been in worse shape this time, having been shot and beaten, it didn't mean he wouldn't do it again. 

And, that was exactly what had happened, he discovered, when he opened the door to the cell, finding it empty. But, he was still shocked that it had happened again. He headed off through the Sanctuary, yelling for his Saviors, until he had them all gathered in the meeting area of the stone building. He climbed to his metal landing, stomped up the steps, making them clang in angry protest at the abuse. He actually had Lucille with him again, after letting her rest since he'd gotten Rick back, and he slammed her down on the metal rail again and again for a few seconds before he got his rage under control enough to speak.

"This is a conversation I should not have to be having!" Negan snarled. "I thought you were all intelligent enough not to have done anything this fucking stupid!" Negan paused for a moment before he continued. "Now, granted, I was a little distracted and didn't give anyone specific orders on watching the prisoners. But, you should have known that was a requirement, without being told. I know that specific prisoner wasn't supposed to be given any confort, was supposed to suffer. But, come on! I didn't mean to totally ignore him and not put a fucking gaurd on the son-of-a-bitch!" Negan snapped. "Now, I'm not going to make the same mistake twice, thinking he's not worth the effort to try to find again. This time I'm going to make sure his ass is found. There will be a goddamn army sent out to look for the mother-fucker. And, don't come back until you find him... and don't kill his ass." Negan growled. "That priveledge is mine!" Negan added. Now, 'Paul'?... Put together a team of fucking men and get on that shit. And, I don't want to hear any excuses... just find that redneck and fucking drag his ass back here." Negan finished, turning on heel and heading toward the kitchen, realizing he hadn't even eaten yet. 

Negan had been going to get something after he beat the shit out of the damn redneck. But, since that hadn't taken place, he decided to go ahead and eat now. Then, he'd have to get the rest of his men together for a general meeting... get a run down on what the fuck was happening, and lock that shit in place. It seemed his soldiers had turned into fucking idiots without their regular lieutenants in place, having lost Earl, Jeb, and Will, and even that ugly-ass, Dwight... then he'd had to fucking kill Simon. The rest of the dead ones didn't really count... they hadn't been making any of the decisions, just following orders. Only Arat, who seemed to have some fucking brains, was left, ... and he had put her on 'Carl duty.' So she wasn't around to keep the rest of the crew in shape, and they were floundering without any leaders, unable to think on their own, apparently. Negan decided he'd go see Arat after he ate, pull her off of Carl and set Joey on that. Hell, he liked that fat fuck... but knew he wasn't exactly a sharp tack. And, he was nicer than most of the Saviors and would treat the kid well. That way he could put Arat into the position of his new number one and get her started on Simon's shit. He knew she was up to the job and could get the factory back on track.  
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Eugene listened to the man, 'Eli', he thought Simon had called him. Anyway, he was the man left to oversee The Kingdom, with Eugene at his right hand. It wasn't a place Eugene wanted to be, but it was better than being dead... and Eugene was a survivor. He would do whatever he needed to do to stay alive. And, if that meant he had to work with the Saviors again, so be it. But, it didn't mean he wasn't a strategist behind the scenes. Eugene didn't trust Negan in the slightest. He was aware that Negan had wanted him dead, as with all of Rick's original group, Rick's 'family.' Negan didn't want anyone alive that Rick might be able to connect with. 

Eugene knew Simon was the reason he was still alive, but that even Simon couldn't save him if Negan was determined to erase him. So, Eugene needed to save himself, and he figured he had an idea how to do it. He knew he had to convince Negan he wasn't a threat to his relationship with Rick, and if he were staying at the Kingdom, he wouldn't be coming in contact with Rick anyway. And, Negan didn't have to let Rick know that this one member of his original family was even still alive. And, Eugene could actually be a huge help to the Saviors. Negan had known that fact before... and nothing had changed; so it should be the same. Eugene would make himself invaluable to Eli, for starters. That would give him some leverage with Negan... and he would convince Negan to let him continue his existance. 

But, Eugene would never trust the Saviors in any true sense, though he would make them believe he did. That way he could work behind the scenes to take them down. He was truely worried he might never see Daryl again... knowing he was public enemy number one as far as Negan was concerned, and Negan didn't plan on him living long after he was taken to the Sanctuary. But, Eugene was also aware of Sherry and her plan to rescue the redneck. Eugene was given a lot of freedom by the Saviors... as they trusted him. They hadn't known about his secret meeting with Sherry... before Simon had left to go back to the Sanctuary, or how she had told him her plans and about a place she could take Daryl... with her secret stash of weapons.

And, Eugene had been aware of her medical skills, since they had become friends while rooming together at the Kingdom. He was the only one she had told, but she would be an asset to the Kingdom with those skills. And, Eugene was planning to help her bring down the Sanctuary... all the while smiling and playing his part, and organizing the Kingdom for the battle, behind the scenes. Negan and his Saviors would never know what hit them... as long as Sherry completed her mission, by saving Daryl. Eugene was praying she was successful; was actually depending on it. He had no intention of remaining a Savior for any length of time longer than he had to. So, he took his direction from Eli, nodding in agreement. He would help run the Kingdom now, and possibly be the real leader in the future, one that Abe and Rosita could have been proud of. Til then, he would hold his secrets close.  
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When Negan finished eating, he went to gather up the rest of his Saviors for the much needed meeting. He found Fat Joey and gave him his new assignment, relieving Arat for the meeting where she would be informed that she was taking Simon's position as his new number one. He would also have her assign others to their new positions, as she knew them all well enough to make that call, and they would all report to her, as she would report to Negan. The meeting didn't really take long, after everyone was gathered. It had all been wrapped up in about an hour.

Negan wondered what he could do with himself. He really wanted to see Rick, but that wasn't such a good idea... because of the reason he wanted to see him. He knew Rick was definitely not going to want to see him, for any reason, and especially not for the reason Negan wanted. And, he had promised Rick some time with Judith anyway, and since Rick had decided to change his mind, and wanted his daughter, after all, Negan didn't want to upset him, by trying to get close to him right now. There would be plenty of time for that later, maybe tonight. After all, Rick had said he would try to be with him... and Negan was going to hold him to that, even if he'd only said it in a desperate bid to keep Judith... afraid Negan would take her away from him. And, Negan wasn't afraid to use that fear to get what he wanted, though he didn't want to hurt the man. He felt it was a justifiable form of persuasion. 

Negan knew he could go see his wives... he still had plenty left, without Sherry, and they were all willing to play. But, the only one he really wanted to touch right now was Rick... even if it was only that, just touching, or holding him, maybe a few kisses. It didn't have to be more... yet. He could take it slow... let Rick get used to him again, just lead up to it slowly... until he got his lover back. He might have to visit his wives a few times... before he got Rick back to that stage of their relationship, but he had every confidence he would have Rick as a willing and passionate lover again. 

Negan decided to go and visit Carl for a while. The boy could be interesting, if he could get him into a conversational mood. And, if all else failed, he'd go see his wives, just to take the edge off, before he saw Rick. Then, he wpuld be able to hold himself together and not have a repeat performance of his earlier episode. Frankly, that was a little embarrassing for him to have list such control of himself with Rick, though he'd never admit that to Rick. Oh well, he was off to visit the stubborn young man... to try to get him to talk.


	10. Shadows of Life

Daryl and Sherry decided to make the Hilltop their first stop, before going to The Kingdom... and they weren't exactly going to come in through the front gates, right into the waiting arms of the few Saviors who had been left there to run the place. Daryl showed Sherry the secret entrance and they ghosted into the community, avoiding the handful of Savior soldiers...until they found a lone Hilltop member and gave them the rundown on their plans. These people were not warriors, but they could be if given a chance. And, Daryl and Sherry were willing to give them that chance... so they moved through the community with the help of these people, taking out the few Saviors and earning the undying gratitude of the Hilltop for freeing them.

At this point, Daryl told them they needed to come with him and Sherry to The Kingdom.. to liberate it, as well. Then the two communities could unite to finally free themselves from the tyranny. This was what the people needed... someone to lead them, since they had a follower mentality, and Sherry knew they needed a leader. She thought she might be able to do that, until she could bring Maggie back to this community. She was the leader they needed, one who could make this a community worthy of it's survival. And, maybe it would be a place Sherry could finally settle in peace, along with the rest of the survivors at The Sanctuary. She was sure once Negan and his Saviors had been taken down, the people of that community would want to come to a place like The Hilltop, where they could live free and equally. 

Sherry already knew where Daryl would be. He'd be wherever Rick Grimes was... and Sherry wasn't sure if that would be The Hilltop or the Kingdom, though she was pretty sure Rick was not going to want to be a leader anymore. He seemed to want to just settle down and be at peace, the way she did. He wanted out of the spotlight... She didn't blame him. His being the leader had only put unwanted attention on him... leading to Negan's obsession... and the nightmare he'd been cast into because of that obsession. 

So, she understood if he'd shy away from that level of visibility... happily fading into the background, just so he could live happily and peacefully with his family; and probably Daryl... if the lone wolf had his way. Sherry wished Daryl luck with that one... but figured he just might be what Rick Grimes needed. He was definitely protective of him. That was why she had rescued the redneck in the first place... so he could save Rick. 

And, maybe she would feel worthy of the life she had... having saved someone else... from being the prisoner of a megalomaniac monster. That was something she could take pride in, not just being a bauble on someone else's chain. Sherry could give Rick up to a life he truly deserved... though it would have been nice to think he could have given her the happily-ever-after she dreamed of. It wasn't meant for them, she knew. But, he could have his with Daryl. That would be enough for her... had to be.  
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Negan was finally making his way back to his room, where Rick and Judith were waiting. He had tried for over an hour to get through to Carl... telling the young man some very personal shit about himself in the process... trying to get Carl to see him as human. And, he felt he had made progress, even though Carl never said anything to him. And, some of that shit he told Carl was stuff he had never told anyone. But, he really wanted Carl to understand. He liked the kid... wanted to be a father-figure to him... even though he didn't want to share Rick with him. He knew that was fucked up as hell, but he couldn't help it. The family unit he wanted to build needed to be pure, without any prejudgements. That meant the unpolluted mind of baby Judith. She could be raised to love both of her fathers... and Negan would finally get the family he had always wanted.

It would be perfect... when he finally got Rick to give in and cooperate. Oh, he had heard Rick's words that he would try to be with him, yeah... but they were just words. He didn't want Rick to have to try. He needed Rick to want to be with him, enjoy being with him... and that wasn't the case yet. But, it would happen. Negan would make it happen... because he knew Rick had feelings for him, even though he didn't want to admit it. Eventually Rick would break... sooner rather than later. And, they were going to be so happy together. 

But, for now, Negan was going to go get some family time with Rick and their daughter... before he got some alone time with just Rick, time they needed to get reacquainted. Negan stopped to talk to the gaurds first, to check in and find out what was going on with his two favorite people in the whole world. They informed him that Rick had actually ordered some food... for himself and the baby. And, he had even eaten a little, though the little one had really cleaned up. She was an eater for sure. But, Rick seemed to have put on a brave face for her, and managed to eat a small amount, as well, though he didn't seem to really want any of it. Negan thanked the men, thinking he was going to have a conversation with Rick about orders... specifically his. He had told Rick he wanted him to eat, and he meant it. The guy was already too thin, not needing to lose an ounce. 

Negan was going to make a point of that with Rick. The man would come to learn he wasn't going to be allowed to fudge on obeying Negan's orders... even in small ways. When he told Rick he wanted him to eat, he meant a full meal, not just a few bites. Rick needed to keep up his appearance for Negan. Negan enjoyed looking at him... liked how pretty he was... including his beautiful body, that just needed to add a few pounds to be perfect. And, Negan liked his lean thoroughbred form, wanted it to stay that way... didn't want him getting bony instead of wiry. And, he was going to make Rick understand that he would be required to keep himself in his best form... for Negan. Negan loved Rick and Rick needed to love him back, proving it by taking excellent care of himself, to ensure he remained perfect for his lover. Negan didn't think it was too much to ask. 

But, he had to make it easy. He had to be gentle with Rick, but firm... had to make sure Rick understood, but was agreeable, instead of rebellious. Negan was afraid of what would happen if Rick truly tried to resist him. He really did not want to hurt the man, but it could happen if Rick fought against him. Because he wanted him too much to be denied... wanted him for a lover, as well as a co-parent for Judith. He wanted it all and a refusal from Rick was not an option, no, that didn't fit in with his plans at all. He hadn't gone through all this shit to get Rick for himself only to be denied by the man himself. But, that wouldn't happen, couldn't happen.

Later, Rick would be allowed to work out, to keep those muscles up. Negan had no intention of allowing Rick to go out scavenging or anything that could endanger him in any way, just to keep fit. So, he'd have to work out to stay in shape. Hell, he should enjoy his life of leisure. And, he didn't need any more scars to mar his lovely skin. Negan was a little irritated, thinking about taking Judith away from Rick for a while, just to get his attention, make sure he understood the consequences of not following orders. But, he decided he'd let it slide just this once, though he would let Rick know that he wouldn't be letting it go again. Rick always responded best when some agression was used. 

Negan opened the door slowly, and felt a little irritation at the surprised look on Rick's pretty face. Surely, Rick didn't think Negan was going to stay away from his family all day. Families spent time together. Why would Rick be surprised that Negan wanted to spend time with his. Negan swallowed his irritation though, not wanting little Judith to notice it. And, he saw Rick try to hide his own disappointment over Negan's appearance, for the same reason, Negan was sure Rick didn't want to upset the little girl, either.

"Well... how's things going?" Negan grinned at Rick. "I came back to spend some time with my family, now that you've had a little alone-time. Daddy's back." Negan looked Rick in the eye as he said the last words, putting emphasis on who was in charge here. He saw the twitch of Rick's lips trying not to frown, but the man managed to keep from doing so, through a bit of effort. Negan was happy he was putting in some effort. 

"... family...?" Rick sputtered, softly. 

"Well, of course, darling." Negan chuckled. "Me and you and our beautiful little angel here. We are a family. And, I think we need to spend time together, just to keep that bond. You understand that don't you, sweetheart?" 

"I already had a family," Rick said tightly. "I'm not interested in anything else. Carl..." 

"Let's not start this, darling." Negan interrupted Rick. "Our family is here. There is no reason to bring outsiders into the equation. We don't want to upset the little one, do we?" Negan gave Rick a subtle warning about trying to rock the boat, seeing him pale slightly, and he smiled, knowing Rick understood. 

Rick stayed silent after that, unless Negan prompted him to answer, which Negan didn't do much of. He was a talker, and could keep up a conversation practically by himself, with very little input. And, so it went, with Negan talking about the going-ons of the Sanctuary, for well over an hour, until it appeared Judith was getting tired, ready for a nap. So, Negan finally called for a family break, for the little one. 

"Looks like someone is ready for a nap..." Negan pointed to Judith. 

"Of course," Rick responded. "Is there someplace she can be laid down for a while?" he asked. 

"Well, sure there is, honey." Negan smiled. "I'll just have one of the gaurds take her over to Gladys. She'll take her for a nap, until I can set up a proper nursery for her..." 

"...but? ...can't she just lie down on the bed?" Rick started to slightly panic, thinking about his daughter being taken away from him, gripping her tighter, and his mood seemed to transfer to the little girl, as she began to whimper. 

Negan was quick to intervene, stepping forward to take the baby from Rick's arms, turning Judith's attention from Rick to himself, quickly soothing her, as he headed to the door, handing her over to the gaurd, with his instructions of where to take her, gently telling Judith that the man was going to take her to 'Auntie Glady', so she could take a little nap, whispering that 'Daddy' would see her later and to be a good girl, before planting a soft kiss on her curly head and sending her away, then closing the door and turning back to Rick. 

Negan looked at Rick a moment before he spoke, watching how the man was literally shaking, afraid. "That was a little dramatic, baby..." he finally spoke. "She is only going to take a nap. Why is that a problem for you?" 

"...I thought she could stay with me..." Rick replied softly, unsure. 

"She has been with you all morning, darling. And, you'll see her later. You don't have to worry. She will be fine. And, you have to realize you aren't going to be spending every minute of the day with her. The two of you will have plenty of time together, but you and I need our time together, as well." Negan explained. 

"...us?" Rick questioned. 

"You did say you were going to try to be with me, right?" Negan asked. 

"...but..." Rick couldn't come up with any words. 

"It's ok, darling..." Negan soothed, stepping forward, to pull Rick into his arms. 

"...no... no..." Rick whispered, trying to pull away, then becoming more determined when Negan only held him tighter. "No! Stop!" Rick cried. "Don't..." his words cut off when Negan's mouth came down on his. 

It started out as a gentle kiss, but grew more demanding as Rick began to struggle. Negan hadn't meant to do anything but soothe the man, but Rick's resistance made Negan want him even more. Negan needed to show Rick who was boss. And, if Rick wasn't going to be cooperative, Negan would just have to make him so. The gentleness turned agressive, and Negan took the kiss he wanted, bruising the lips that struggled beneath his, holding Rick tightly, and kissing him over and over, until Rick stopped fighting him... then gently kissing away the hurt, ignoring the dampness of tear tracks, as his lips ghosted over the face, touching eyes and nose, brows and cheeks, and lips again. 

"Let's lay down for a bit, honey...." Negan whispered against Rick's lips. "I think you need a little nap, too. And I sure would appreciate a little cuddle time with my baby. You'd like that, wouldn't you..." Negan smiled when Rick was quiet, eyes closed. "Yeah, you'd like that." Negan pulled Rick over to the bed, lowering him down onto it, before laying down beside him and pulling Rick into his arms, holding him secure. "It's ok, darling... just relax... just take a little nap. I'll be right here for you...." Negan soothed, planting a soft kiss on Rick's curls, tightening his arms when he felt Rick trembling. Was Rick afraid of him? No.... there was no reason for the man to be afraid. He was just tired, exhausted... Everything was fine. Rick had feelings for him. He just needed to be reminded of that fact... just needed a firm hand... so he made the right decisions. And, Negan would provide that. Soon, Rick would be longing for Negan's touch.  
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It had gone far easier than Daryl thought it would. He had snuck back into the Kingdom with Sherry, finding that only a few Saviors were left here, as at the Hilltop, just like Sherry had said. And, these people in the Kingdom had some warriors. They just needed a leader. One of the Kingdom members ran into them, and was quickly let in on the plan... to get the Saviors alone, one at a time, so they could be taken out. That didn't seem to be a problem. Once they had someone to guide them, they ran with the plan.

And, once Eugene knew they were there, he helped, sending different Saviors off alone to do things, helping to get them disposed of. He even managed to take out Eli... knocking him unconscious, anyway. When Eli's back was to him... Eugene picked up the heavy paperweight from the table, only realizing it was a tiger moments before he brought it down on the back of Eli's head. As Eli crumpled to the floor, Eugene took a look at the paperweight... and a grin lit his face. It was only fitting he thought, tapping the tiger on the head before sitting it back down on the table. 

Eugene quickly took the man's weapon from him, as well as his walkie. Then, he waited until Daryl and Sherry showed up a few minutes later. Daryl grinned at him, and Eugene even let a bit of a smile touch his own lips. 

"Ya didn't kill him?" Daryl was confused. 

"... sorry... but he wasn't threatening my life in any manner..." Eugene said. "I'm not a killer...unless I don't have any other choice. I just took him out of the equation. You do what you want... but please don't kill him in front of me, if that's your decision. I don't want to know." Eugene finished. 

"Ok... " Daryl mumbled, a little confused. "We have to get all our people together now. We have a rescue to mount. The Hilltop is outside these walls... and they are ready to help... but they have no skills. The Kingdom has some warriors. We plan on giving a quick training course... then we are going to take down The Sanctuary." 

"...there are some good people there, Daryl," Eugene spoke up. "...and I'm not just talking about Rick and Maggie and family..." he added. "There are decent people in that place too..." 

"Hell, I know that, Eugene." Daryl growled. "We only want to take out Negan and his Saviors. We will set the others free. Nobody needs to pay for Negan's crimes but Negan... and the ones helping him. Everybody else can have a choice what they want to do with their lives. Now, come on. We need to get this show on the road. We'll leave that shit head here," Daryl indicated the unconscious man on the ground. "... with some of our Kingdom members who won't be able to join the fighting, but will be able to handle that piece of shit." Daryl ended, heading off to open the gates and let the Hilltop gang inside. They had places to be and a lot to get done, if they wanted to strike Negan, before he knew what hit him. Surprise was necessary for them to win, and they would win. They had no other choice.  
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"...so, I think we're making progress, huh, kid...?" Negan chuckled, after hearing a low grumble from the other side of the cell door, indicating a response from the sullen teenager. "You know, that pretty daddy of yours is warming up to me. In fact, he was even cuddling up with me a little bit ago..."

"... yeah...right!" Carl snorted, unable to stay silent when his father was brought into the conversation. 

Negan smiled, knowing that mentioning Rick would get a reaction out of Carl. "You don't believe me?" Negan scoffed. 

"My dad hates you." Carl retorted. "He would never be cuddling with you. You are real delusional... or just fucking insane. I know you want my dad, but it ain't never gonna happen. And, you really need to get a new hobby, because my dad is a lost cause where you are concerned." 

"You think so, huh?" Negan questioned Carl.

"I don't think anything... I know!" Carl was adamant. "If my dad was cuddling with you, it was against his will. He loved Michonne... and he loves Daryl. But, he hates you." Carl continued. "And, I hate you, too. I tried to understand you at one time... but what you did to my dad destroyed any feelings I might have had for you. And, killing Enid didn't help your cause any..." 

"...I told you I didn't give that order..." Negan argued. 

"You were in charge! " Carl declared. "...and I hold you responsible." 

Carl was silent for a moment, and Negan had nothing to say either. Finally, Carl spoke, and it was evident he was having a hard time holding back his tears, Enid's death still affecting him. "...please... just go away... I really don't want to talk to you..." 

"... ok, Carl..." Negan couldn't carry on this conversation any longer, anyway. He felt a lot of guilt over the death of the girl. He hadn't made it clear enough to his men that the girl wasn't to be killed, and he'd been too concerned with getting his hands on Rick again to be paying enough attention to the whole picture. He really should have been more on the ball. He hadn't meant to hurt Carl so much. He really did like the kid. If he'd had a son of his own, he'd want him to be very much like the young man. Rick had done a hell of a job raising his son... but that was the problem. Negan wasn't sure he could mold the young man... certainly not if he had any contact with his father. Rick's influence was too damn strong. 

That's why Negan would never let them near each other again. As much as he liked Carl, he loved Rick... and he wasn't going to share him with his son. Judith was young enough to bond with Negan, as well as Rick... whereas Carl was totally Rick's son. But, he could still be turned into a soldier... just as long as Rick didn't interfere. So, father and son would be separated forever... had to be. Negan was going to have his family with Rick. He wasn't going to let anything or anyone stop him from making that come to plan... including Rick himself. Negan was going to mold Rick into the perfect mate. 

Negan had left Rick asleep in their room. The man really had needed a nap. Negan had been right about that. He had gone to see Carl after leaving Rick. Now, he decided to go check in with his men, to see if they'd made any progress on finding that runaway dog. Thinking about that redneck getting away made Negan grind his teeth hard. He needed that bastard found... needed to destroy him... take him apart piece by piece, and leave him on the fence to rot away... yeah, that's what he was going to do, he decided. He was going to decorate that fence with fucking Dixon body parts... perching his goddamn head on top of a post! The thought of that made Negan smile, easing his frustration.  
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Rick cuddled Judith close, kissing the top of her blond head over and over, as he sat on the bed. He ran his fingers over her chubby arms and legs, reassuring himself that she was really there. A few tears escaped beneath his lids, rolling in a streak of silver down his cheeks. He had been so afraid that Negan would take her away from him permanently. He knew he had told Negan to give her to Maggie... but he didn't really mean it. He needed her. She was all he had left. Negan had been firm about his not ever seeing his son again and that tore Rick's heart out. But, if he took Judith away too, Rick really had no reason to live. 

"Jesus, Rick! I told you you'd see her again." Negan rolled his eyes at Rick's behavior. "She just took a fucking nap... which she needed, as did you. You're looking much better now that you got a bit more sleep." Negan added. "The last couple days have been rough for you, I know. But, you can relax. You will now be living a life of leisure. You won't have anything to worry your pretty little head about, except keeping me and our little angel happy. Now, that's not so bad, is it?" 

Rick looked up suddenly, catching Negan's gaze, the look on his face telling Negan more than any words could, and Negan frowned. "... well... is that going to be a problem Rick? You do want to make this work, don't you?" Negan said, voice soft with warning. "I really don't want to cause you any more distress... but if you can't put an effort into this relationship, I might have to curb your distractions. Judith may need to spend more time away..." Negan was satisfied by the look of alarm on Rick's face, knowing the man was finally understanding. "But, perhaps she won't be such a distraction, will she?" 

Negan waited for Rick to give a nod of agreement, before he continued. "...Ok, then. Now that we have that out of the way... why don't you two enjoy the afternoon together, while I go take care of a few things." Negan walked over to the bed where Rick sat holding Judith. He held out his hands, and Rick reluctantly handed the toddler to him. 

Negan pulled Judith close, giving her a long hug, kissing the top of her head, while watching Rick over the top of her blond curls. "You're such a little angel, aren't you, sweetie." he cooed, before handing her back to Rick. "Just like your daddy is going to be, isn't he?" Negan said softly. 

Negan reached out a hand, to cup the back of Rick's neck, as he leaned down, feeling the man stiffen as he brought his mouth down against the soft lips. His grip tightened in the curls, warning... and Rick's lips softened for him, allowing him to press his tongue forward into the warm wet heat of Rick's mouth. He felt Rick shudder, with emotion, but the man didn't pull away... knowing better. He let Negan enjoy a nice exploration of the interior without protest. 

Negan finally pulled away, his cock hard and aching in arousal. Rick did this to him, without even trying. "Perhaps you'll put a bit more effort into it later...." Negan smiled at Rick. I really don't want to do all the work, darling." Negan planted another soft kiss on Rick's soft wet lips and straitened up. "Have fun. I'll be back later so we can have dinner together. Love you both." Negan turned away, heading for the door. 

Rick waited until the door closed, before he let out a gasping cry, pulling Judith against him, kissing the top of her head again... trying to force the tears away. He didn't know if he could do this. He knew Negan would use Judith to get what he wanted, and what he wanted was Rick. And, Rick was afraid. He realized he still had more to lose, if he didn't give in to Negan. But, just how much could he give, before he had nothing left. Because he knew Negan wouldn't settle for anything less than everything. And, Rick didn't know if he could do it... even for Judith.  
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Daryl was driving the lead truck, Sherry in the passenger seat and four men and two women in the truck bed. There were four more trucks behind him, loaded in similar fashion. Even Eugene had gotten in on the action, though he was driving a van, with four passengers. It made a total of forty-five people willing to take on the Sanctuary. Daryl figured it was a pretty even match, as far as numbers were concerned... as how some of the Saviors had been taken out of the equation lately. And, the other people at the Sanctuary weren't going to be fighting. 

But, the Saviors had an advantage in the experience department. About ten members of Daryl's group had no experience with weapons at all, though they had been given a crash course back at the Kingdom before they headed out. And, Sherry's stash of weapons could possibly level the field... or even give them the advantage. Besides, they had a lot more reason to put in the effort. They were fighting for their freedom and their lives, and could not afford to lose.  
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Negan made his way back to his room, his and Rick's room, now. He was frustrated that his chat with his man on the walkie had been a let-down. The men still hadn't found any trace of the damn red-neck. Negan couldn't believe it was that difficult to locate a man who was in rough physical shape. The bastard had been shot and beaten. How the hell was he able to escape and vanish without a trace? Negan wasn't even sure exactly when he had escaped. His guess was that he'd escaped the first night, soon after he'd arrived... once things had settled down. Negan still didn't know how he'd escaped. The cell had been locked... He wondered if he had a traitor in the group... someone who would betray him and free the prisoner. If that were the case, he would find out, and they would find out what he did to traitors, just as Simon had. 

But, Negan couldn't worry about that now. He had to go rejoin his family for dinner, which he had already ordered special from the kitchen. He had a full meal for himself and Rick, and a softer meal for Judith. Hell, what kid wouldn't like mashed potatoes and veggies they could eat with their fingers. Negan and Rick would be enjoying some roast and veggies. Plus Negan had a surprise for dessert. All three of them could enjoy it. And they could all enjoy some nice sun tea cook had made fresh just for Negan and his new family. That should put a smile on Rick's pretty face. It would be just like what he'd had at Alexandria... better than the damn lemonade. Negan had actually started to whistle softly as he approached the bedroom door, feeling better than he'd felt earlier. This was going to be a wonderful family dinner. 


	11. It Ends This Way

To say that the dinner was awkward would have been the understatement of the year. Only little Judith seemed to be oblivious to the undercurrent between the two men. Rick was trying to appear to be what Negan wanted, to appear to be the 'family' Negan insisted upon, forcing himself to sit there and pretend to eat a meal he had no appetite for. But it was really impossible to keep up with Negan's mercurial moods. One minute he would be declaring his love for Rick, and the next moment, threatening him.

Negan had sworn he didn't want to hurt Rick, but he didn't even seem to notice the mental anguish he was throwing on his already overloaded brain. Negan had killed everyone Rick cared about, with the exception of Maggie; who Negan had no real feelings for anyway, and had only spared because she was pregnant; and Rick's children, even though Rick was never going to be allowed near his son again, the child who had given him a reason to keep fighting the fight for so long.

Rick didn't believe Negan wanted to harm either of his children, but he couldn't believe the same for himself. Negan's obsession with him wasn't healthy... in fact it was the quite possibly the complete opposite. And, Negan was quite capable of hurting him in more ways than one, including physically, especially if Rick didn't reciprocate the feelings Negan professed he had for him. 

Rick could see the glitter of insanity in those eyes, and that insanity didn't bode well for anyone in his vacinity. Rick didn't feel Negan had come into this world totally intact. When the world had gone to hell, Negan had already been over the edge. And, he had enough charisma to seize power, which had not been a good thing. That power had further corrupted him, and the craziness of the world had only added to the perverse mix. 

Now, Rick wasn't shy about admitting he himself wasn't exactly mentally stable either... how could anybody in this world be expected to be completely sane these days, anyhow. But, at least Rick was aware of the fact his mental stability wasn't a sure bet. Negan seemed to think he had all his shit together... that he knew what was best for everyone in the world. And he got to choose the parts everyone would play. 

But, Rick didn't want to play his appointed role. He didn't want to be Negan's lover or mate. He didn't want the man in his life at all. And, Rick knew that didn't fit in with Negan's plans, nor would the man allow it. 

Rick felt more than just simply fear of Negan, he was in a total panic, so much so that he found it hard to breathe, alone have any kind of conversation with Negan. In fact, he wanted to remove himself from the room, escape the intense heat that seemed to be burning into his skin from those eyes, just take Judith and run. But, he knew it wasn't even a possibility. If he somehow managed to get away from Negan, there were gaurds right outside this room... that would never dare let him escape. He was a prisoner. He was expected to pay for all these so-called 'privileges' Negan had given him, he knew. And, Rick was well aware of what that price was. 

And, even worse than his fear of Negan was his fear of himself. Rick was well aware of the fact that Negan had some perverse hold on him. It wasn't what he wanted... and he knew it wasn't love, or even lust, to be honest. Negan might be fooling himself into believing Rick actually cared about him, but Rick didn't feel that kind of confusion... not anymore anyway. He never thought of Negan in that way ever. When he did think of the man, there were a lot of emotions... but none were of the positive variety. In fact... Rick, more often than not, thought of ways to kill the man.

But, those thoughts aside, Rick knew his body certainly had a different response to Negan, especially when Negan put in the effort to make it respond to him. Rick was helpless against him, at those times. And, the shame and humiliation was enough to make Rick want to simply kill himself. This was what Rick feared more than anything in the world, how Negan could make his body feel. And, this had Rick's brain so fucked up... as if he weren't enough of a goddamn mess as it were. How could his body respond to a man he hated so much? 

"...so you aren't even going to attempt to work on this, Rick." Negan sighed, finally commenting on Rick's silence, as well as the fact that he hadn't taken a bite of food, but only pushed it aimlessly around his plate, while ignoring the fact that Judith was now wearing more of her food than she'd eaten, the little one not really hungry, it seemed, and deciding to paint her body with colorful orange carrots, and a healthy dose of mashed potatoes. 

Negan had let her go, waiting for Rick to take notice. But, the man's mind was lost a thousand miles away, it seemed. So, he finally had to speak up, not that the man was paying attention, even now. So Negan had to raise his voice, a little irritated. 

"Rickk!" Negan's loud growl not only got Rick's attention, but Judith as well, and while Rick jerked back from wherever he had gone, Judith's smile turned downward, into a pout, wobbling, and she was on the verge of letting out a wail, when Negan ran interferance again. 

"...It's ok, sweetie..." Negan directed towards the little girl. "You just made a big mess, and your papa wasn't paying any attention. It's about your bedtime, anyway, angel, and you are going to need a bath before beddy-bye," Negan rose from his chair to lift Judith out of her highchair, heading for the door, causing Rick to suddenly spring from his chair, as well. 

"I...I can take care of her... sorry... let me take care of her..." Rick cried, reaching for his daughter. 

Negan pulled her away from Rick's reach, frowning. "No need to bother yourself, Rick. I've got this." Negan said. "I am a capable parent to our daughter, you know. And, I don't need you insinuating anything else. She's going to Auntie Gladys for the evening anyway." Negan turned his attention back to Judith, giving her a big smile. "Ain't that right, sweetheart? You're gonna go get ready for bed. Tell Daddy night-night..." Negan waited until the little cherub planted a carrot-glazed kiss on his cheek, giving him a tight neck-hug, before he opened the door to hand her off to the gaurd, hesitating only slightly, waiting... 

And, there it was, Negan gave a grin as he heard Rick's whispered plea... "...please... Negan...," and he turned back to Rick with a triumphant smirk. "Ah, honey, did you want to say night-night to papa too?" 

Negan made Rick come to him, didn't bother to hand Judith over for a kiss either, forcing Rick to brace himself with a hand on Negan's shoulder as he leaned forward to plant a kiss on Judith's smootched lips. Rick let out a surprised yelp as he started to pull away, when one of Negan's arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him in closer. When he tried to pull away, Negan tightened his grip, and he would have had to put up a struggle to free himself, upsetting his daughter, so he gave in, deciding to speak to Negan instead. 

"...please, let me go..." Rick whispered. "...please..." Rick hated being so pathetic, but he really didn't want to upset Judith. Negan waited a moment, before releasing him. 

"Of course, darling." Negan smiled. "...but, we will talk about this in a little while, after I get our little angel settled. This is not over." Negan threatened with the smile firmly planted on his face. Then, he turned back toward the door, deciding to take Judith over to Gladys himself. 

"...night-night, papa...," Judith chirped back at Rick, already taking her cues from Negan, calling Rick papa instead of daddy, as Negan had now stolen that title from him... 

"...good-night, sweetheart," Rick called back, waiting for Negan to close the door before he let the tears fall. 

Negan was taking everything from him. His own daughter was now calling him papa instead of daddy. He hadn't heard Judith call Negan daddy yet, but was sure it was only a matter of time, since Negan referred to himself as daddy when he spoke to the little girl. Rick wondered if he should forget about it, if he shouldn't have just went with his first thought to give Judith away... let her forget about him. It would have been far easier than having to plead with Negan for time with his own child. And, it was clear to him that Negan was putting himself into the front of the impressionable child's mind, keeping Rick in the background. 

Rick had to wonder about the truth of Negan's 'family' statement. Negan seemed less interested in the 'family' concept than he let on. Sure, Negan wanted to play daddy to Judith, but Rick only seemed to be there for appearances sake. Negan would make all decisions concerning the family, while Rick was expected to just stand happily at his side and look the part of a happy parent. Rick was sure that as Judith grew older her time with him would grow even less. In fact, he felt Negan just wanted him around as little more than a decoration for his arm... other than a sex toy, that is. 

Rick had no doubt of Negan's lust for him, though he wasn't sure why, when he had so many beautiful wives. But, for some reason, he wanted Rick decorating his bed. It wasn't the same as it had been with Daryl. Daryl had loved him and valued his input. Michonne had, as well... Rick had to pause for a minute as his thoughts turned to the warrior princess who had been his lover and a second mother to Carl. He had loved her, even if he weren't 'in love' with her. And, he missed her. She hadn't deserved what she got from Negan. And, it had all been because Negan wanted Rick all to himself, and wanted to get rid of every connection Rick had to the past. But, it was so wrong... as was the death of all the others. 

The only confort Rick had was in knowing Daryl hadn't been killed yet... and knowing the wily redneck as he did, Negan wasn't going to be able to get rid of him that easily. Negan wasn't aware that Rick knew anything that was going on, but Rick had kept an ear open, listening to the gaurds talking outside the door, when they didn't think he could hear them. And, they always talked about what was going on around The Sanctuary. So, Rick had some information Negan didn't know he had. And, he pretended ignorance with Negan. 

But, the knowing that his son was alive and well, as was Maggie, helped Rick somewhat. And the fact that Daryl had escaped and not been found had given him some hope. He even knew that Negan had killed Simon... even the manner of it. That information certainly didn't break his heart. But, even all that good news didn't help with the real problem, the fact that Rick was Negan's prisoner, as were his son and Maggie. And, he didn't know how that was ever going to change... unless he did something drastic to change it. He had no choice. There wasn't anyone left to rescue them. Daryl would have, but the guy was alone and busy just trying to stay alive, Rick knew. And, Negan had killed pretty much everyone else and took control of The Hilltop and The Kingdom. So, he didn't seem to have a choice. He just wanted the chance to say goodbye to his son first... had to find a way to do that... before he figured out a way to end this nightmare; because that is what it was for him. He really didn't want to die... but it would be worth it if he could save what was left of his family. Maybe they'd be able to find Daryl and build a life with him. That would make Rick happy. He just needed to find a way... and right now he didn't have a clue how to do that.  
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Daryl and company finished collecting all the weapons from Dwight's storage area under the cabin. They divided them amongst everyone, keeping in mind everyone's talent for weapons. Daryl kept a crossbow and arrows, as well as a good supply of grenades and an enormous knife. He had also kept a colt python, though it wasn't Rick's, and he had been shocked to even find it with the other weapons. And, when they finally got Rick back and brought down the Sanctuary, Daryl was going to make sure Rick got that beloved gun of his back. The guy had been missing it for a while now, and knew Negan had it somewhere, having kept it as another possession, as much as it's owner was. But, the gun, like it's owner was going to be taken away from the maniac, Daryl swore. Until then, he'd keep this one as a promise to the man he loved with all his heart. And, soon, that man was going to be safe in his arms again, along with his family, and Daryl would kill anyone who got in his way to making that happen.

And, now that everyone was armed to the teeth, and had an idea how to use said weapons they could head for the Sanctuary. And, if Daryl's luck held, they'd launch the sneak attack and catch Negan unaware, because the guy was just that overconfident and would never think Daryl and company would attack just like they had before. And, Daryl was counting on that ego to be the undoing of the arrogant son-of-a-bitch. He was also sure Negan wasn't aware of the demise of his men at the Hilltop and the Kingdom. 

Then, Daryl's group got even luckier when they ran into the three small groups of Saviors that had been out hunting for Daryl. The three groups of four men each had come together to discuss strategies... and Daryl's group had come upon them. It had been a quick fight, as the Saviors had been surprised and didn't react as quickly as they should have. They were picked off quickly by Daryl and several members from the Kingdom... since they hadn't been expecting Daryl to arrive with an army, or for that army to be so well-prepared for the battle. 

And, Daryl's group, or 'the Survivors' as they called themselves, had enough ammo that what they'd used to dispatch these three groups was barely a dent in their supply. Daryl told the group they couldn't waste any time though, because Negan would probably be expecting a check in with those guys on the hunt progress. And, he would be getting antsy if he didn't hear from them. So, they needed to continue if they wanted that surprise attack to occur. No time to waste as they headed toward the Sanctuary just as the sun was starting to set.  
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Negan opened the door and entered the room, closing it softly behind him. His anger at Rick had evaporated. Spending that time with Judith, getting her ready for bed had helped. But, he did need to get Rick under control, regardless... and he was really tired of waiting, anyway. He wanted Rick... and even though Rick denied it, he knew the man wanted him too. There was no reason for them to not be doing anything about that situation, other than Rick's refusal to admit the fucking truth. Well, that was going to end tonight. Negan was going to have him begging before he was through with him. Let him try to deny it after that.

Negan started walking over to where Rick sat on the couch, watching as those eyes met his, anger and fear mixed together to make such an intense color, it gave Negan pause, remembering just how beautiful they were, along with the rest of the man. Then, he felt the irritation rise, because Rick had no fucking reason to be angry or afaid. Negan had only done what he had promised, as far as Rick's people were concerned... and had even been generous, in a sense. He hadn't killed Maggie and he had actually had the others dispensed in a very clean decent manner... except for that redneck bastard, of course. And, he would not give him that kindness, under any circumstances, when he finally found the son-of-a-bitch. That fucker didn't deserve any kindness after what he had done, no way did he deserve anything but exactly what Negan was going to give him. 

But enough thoughts about that creature, when he had the most delicious looking morsel right in front of him. He swallowed his irritation and took another step toward Rick, who finally decided he didn't want to sit on the couch any longer, and rose up from it, quickly retreating from Negan. Negan smiled, but it wasn't an amused smile. The way Rick was acting was irritating. Rick's eyes were flaring wide, and knowing what Negan wanted, and the firm set of his lips seemed to be in determination for a negative response. 

Then, Rick let that negative thought come out vocally..."No..." only one word, but it could have been a hundred for all the meaning Negan got. And, he was definitely not about to let that rest. 

Negan took another step forward as Rick continued to retreat. "What the hell do you mean, Rick? Do you even understand yourself?" Negan growled. "You and I are together now, as in a couple... we are married in every sense other than the damn paperwork. You even said it yourself..." 

"...I never said anything like that..." Rick interrupted. "I would never say anything like that to you. You are keeping me prisoner and trying to threaten me into doing what you want..." 

"It's what the fuck you want too, Rick!" Negan shot back. "You fucking want me, want to be with me, so stop denying it." 

"No!" Rick hissed. "I don't want anything to do with you. I want you dead..." 

"...Damn, Rick! How long are you going to keep spouting that shit?" Negan snorted. "Are you forgetting how you whimpered and moaned when I was fucking you... and that was pure pleasure coming from those luscious lips of yours. Hell, you even fucked me, baby. And, I did not imagine that kiss at the end. You drug me down on top of you and literally attacked my mouth... not saying I didn't enjoy every second of it, but..." 

"You fucking raped me!" Rick yelled;.and it felt good to let that out, finally... no more confusion for him. "You forced me... I had no choice. You told me you were going to have me that night and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I was your prisoner. I couldn't escape. And, just because you could make my body respond to you doesn't change that fact. I did not consent to have sex with you... didn't consent to anything... and that makes it rape..." Rick ended with a whisper, having run out of steam. 

"I never raped you!" Negan defended himself. "Just because your uptight little mind can't handle the truth, doesn't make it rape, darling. Stop fucking lying to yourself! Just admit the damn truth. You want me as much as I want you..." 

"...I don't fucking want you!" Rick yelled. "And, no matter how long you keep me prisoner or what you do to me, I will never want you. Why won't you accept that fact? I. Don't. Want. You! I. Will. Never. Want. You! I hate you...and I just wish you were dead..." 

"...you... don't mean that, baby..." Negan whispered.  
"But, I will forgive you for such cruelty... because I will prove that not only do you want me, but you love me... you love me in spite of everything. And, I love you enough to force you to admit that, rather than just giving up. I'm going to make love to you... and afterward you are going to admit the goddamn truth!" Negan hissed.

"Don't you fucking touch me!" Rick snapped. "It is not making love. It is rape. And, I am not going to just take it like I did before. You have nothing to threaten me with anymore. I know you won't kill Carl or Judith... or even Maggie. What else do you have? You have already killed everyone else you could use against me. So, you have nothing... and you certainly aren't going to have me! I am saying no. Do you hear me? No....no, no!" Rick yelled. 

But, Negan wasn't hearing anything Rick said. In fact, he had blocked out everything after he finished speaking. The only thing he could think about was the memory of Rick, stripped naked beneath him...the feel of his skin, moist and delicious... the feel of being inside him, tight and hot, loved in such an intimate embrace. Negan had been in heaven... and he had to have that feeling again. 

And, as he strode forward, grabbing Rick, dragging him to the bed, tearing at his clothes...not feeling Rick's struggles against him... not noticing the blood that ran down his face, where Rick's nails had tore into his skin, in a desperate attempt to stop Negan. He didn't hear Rick's screams, his brain in a total lust-soaked haze. He had to have him. Nothing else mattered. And, all gentleness was abandoned, as he had Rick stripped and trapped beneath him... and his beast was unleashed, with Rick feeling it's wrath, as Negan lost control. As Rick continued to fight him, Negan backhanded him across the face, dazing him enough to stop his struggles as he removed his own clothes. In fact, the backhand had been hard enough that Rick's face would have a bruise, and was already discoloring. 

Negan ran his hands greedily over Rick's flesh, savoring the feel of it under his fingers. All of this belonged to him. It was his, to enjoy, and he was going to do just that. His hand slid down, grasping the unaroused penis, stroking at it roughly. And, when Rick tried to push him away, he quickly slapped him hard across the face.

"Don't fight me, darling," he growled. "You belong to me. Just ... don't fight it... please. I really don't want to hurt you... I don't want to... but ... don't make me... please..." Negan tangled his fingers into Rick's curls, holding him in place as he brought his mouth down on Rick's, tasting him again. "So good... so good..." Negan mumbled, his mouth moving down Rick's neck, mouthing it roughly, even biting into the flesh hard enough to draw blood. 

Negan was so far gone he couldn't hear the sounds of gunfire, or the yells of his gaurds outside his room. He didn't even know when the door to his room was slammed open. Negan wasn't even aware of the moment he died.... didn't realize that Daryl had pulled him off of Rick, throwing him onto the floor, slamming him against the bedside chest in the process. Didn't see as Rick crawled off the bed, finding the knife that had fallen, grabbing it, then grabbing Negan's hair and jerking his head back, his teeth bared in rage as he brought the razor sharp blade across the taut skin of Negan's throat, splitting it into a hideous bloody grin, letting the crimson flow down onto the floor, as he released his grip on Negan's hair, letting his head flop down. 

Rick dropped the knife, managing to pull himself to his feet, to collapse back onto the bed, unaware of the audience, that turned aside, trying to give him some privacy. Daryl pulled a gun out of his waistband, pushing the barrel against the back of Negan's head, pulling the trigger. It was probably overkill, but he didn't care. He wasn't doing it for that reason. He just wanted to make sure that son-of-a-bitch didn't come back. He didn't deserve a second life... even one as a fucking dead corpse... He pushed the gun into Rick's hands. It wasn't his own, but it was a nice replica of the Colt Python. Then, Daryl jerked his own jacket off, placing it over Rick's shoulders. He'd find something for Rick to wear before they left, but this would gave to do at the moment. 

Rick looked up at him, eyes sparkling with tears, but bluer than the brightest summer sky... and he spoke, just two words, but they held everything else in them Daryl knew he meant. 

"Thank you..." Rick whispered huskily, "...thank you..." he repeated. And, those words were telling Daryl just how much the man loved him, more than the words themselves. And, they were going to be ok. Yes, they were going to be ok...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it ends... and it had to end this way for me. There could be no happy-ever-after for Negan. He had gone past his own redemption. And, I felt he had to pay that price. I thought a lot on the ending, thought of killing both Rick and Negan... thought of having Negan kill Rick, then Daryl kill Negan, but in the end, I had to give Daryl his happy ending. Sorry to anyone who was rooting for a Regan ending, but this was for the Rickyl fans... myself included, after Richonne, I mean. That's my personal fave, by the way, though I never write them because the series does it so perfectly. Thanks to everyone who stuck with the story and I hope the continuation wasn't a disappointment for you.


End file.
